here's to 2005 chess (:

This is it.

Today was officially the last teaching day of the year, and foundation year 2005 has come to a close, all that is left is a string of exams, a graduation ceremony and off we go back to Sg through Syd.

Chessy and I always look back and recall the night we left Singapore in tears on the first week of Jan. I still remember it so clearly as if it was just yesterday. I remember the heartache, the tears that I thought would never stop coming, the desperation I felt at the counter when I looked back through the glass windows and saw all my loved ones behind, and the sinking feeling knowing that everything would change then on. I remember crying my eyes out on the airplane, and also the subsequent heartaches I felt missing people and getting used to changes. I left an incredibly naive jo, full of dreams and hope, I kept telling myself, 6 years (till I get my degree) will pass in no time. I now know I had not yet lived.

This year was initially tumultuous emotionally, but something I guess we all have to go through. But without a doubt, so far 2005 has definitely been an incredible learning journey for me. With every shitdip comes a nice bright rainbow and mine definitely came. I got to know this amazing person and yes I'll stop now.

I am and have been SO SO blessed to have had chessy with me, but to my friends who have to go to a new place without a companion from home: don't fret because there are pros and cons to every situation, and no matter what, there are always new friends to make, it's whether you're prepared to go out there and make some. So anyway, this year has been incredible. Coming from MGS where everything (im sorry) was anal and rigid, FY is like whoaa, big difference. Admittedly, my first 10 years of schooling in MGS was definitely enormously beneficial, and not only did I learn lots like discipline and learning to dodge trouble(both within the classroom and out), they sure as heck instilled the fear of teachers in you. You know, sometimes I still get panic attacks when I don't do something and I go shit shit, the teacher is going to come and check our work and stone us to death, then I realise I'm in a completely different learning environment where teachers are your friends, not your whatever they are in Sgp. In Sg teachers are like a different level, more superior, high up and mighty whereas here, teachers mess around with you and joke about other teachers with you.

The other day Chess asked me "If you had the chance to go back to Mg and live it all again, would you?" And my answer to that is "Mg sure as anything was amazing cos that's where I made my best friends and so on, but if I were to go back after this year and all I've experienced, the answer is No." I've been opened up to a world where independence and self-reliance is key, and where you are responsible for everything. I don't know, I can't express it accurately, and I know I make MG sound like prison, the thing is, you only get it once you start uni or poly. But one thing I do miss is like chillout times where everyone is stuck in one place and has nothing to do and you just hang around, talk and bond, cos you don't rlly get it here.

I cannot believe that after all the tears, heartache and pain from leaving Sg in jan that still causes unexplainable grief to me when I think back and imagine it again, the reason why we even came here - the purpose - has been FUFILLED. we came here for FY, and FY is soon over.

Back on Dec7, and I am afraid I won't be able to fill up 2.5 months fruitfully. Hopefully nice things will crop up, and I'm really looking forward to my super nice summer with friends(!!!) under the sun.

I was going to put photos up, but they disappeared. Another time.