Another Summer Gone By

I have been here 3 days short of 2 months, and I've loved every bit of it. I have spent time with family, worked in a real office, babysat, done tourist-y things, travelled to Malaysia, gambled, shopped like there was no tomorrow, read at least ten novels, and a whole lot of other things I can't remember just yet.

So, Hans comes to Singapore in less than a week, and his arrival marks my last few days in Singapore. After he flies back to NZ, Carol and I will follow suit via Sydney a few days after. It is definitely an intense bittersweet feeling - I can't wait to go back and settle into the routine of work and play, yet at the same time I feel myself clinging to the family environment here, Dad and Mum upstairs, Kongkong and Mama next door, and cousins every Sat - It's never easy is it?

I do feel the need to go back for a few reasons that have only become more nagging recently. The freedom of doing as I please has been incredible, however, lack of brain activity has left me a spluttering, stuttering, no-short-term-memory Goon. All this talk about wanting to study hard this year and get into Med or Dent, I have to get moving!

It has also been getting harder being away from Hans. It's been two months, and admittedly, these two months have passed by very briskly. However, the brisk speed has slowly turned into a pathetic crawl and each day has left me wanting him to come here earlier! It has become obviously harder to be apart. Absence does really intensify love and I'm just hoping we'll have a great year ahead.

Being back in Singapore has been quite hard friends-wise. Everyone is busy with school, CCAs, and other commitments and they have so little time that you don't want to impose on them with what little free time they have left. I have been away from the whole friends scene for a really long time, and more than that, everyone started school in AC with new friends and new cliques. I find myself constantly wondering what it would have been like if I have not left - would I be having fun with life in AC? The lifestyle in NZ is so different I can't compare, and to be honest, I can't say which I prefer. Studies-wise, NZ is definitely my choice, but friends- and socialising-wise, I think Singapore is the way to go. I keep having to remind myself that I have other friends in NZ, and my boyfriend is there, but part of me wishes to be part of a group here, so things would be a bit more happening. This loneliness and exclusion is semi-intensified by the absence of Hans, the hectic schedule of my friends, and also the absence of my friends in NZ. I came back not expecting to be part of any group, or to resume friendships as I had left them, but what I did not expect was to have this feeling of emptiness wondering what it would be like to be part of a group, and to be part of ACJC.

All this said, I have enjoyed my summer back throughly and I have had the most amazing time with family and relatives. Now I can't wait for Hans to come, and it will be the chocolate-frosted icing on the top of my greatgreat holiday back.


I'm rubbing my hands with anticipation for what 2006 in NZ brings me.