LAST BLOG ENTRY FOR THE YEAR (:

I was reading Jaslyn's final entry for the year and I felt inspired to summarise my year like she did, and to thank all the people that made my year the way it turned out to be - ridiculously fantastic. My year was definitely not as adventurous and exciting as Jas', but I think many people deserve to be thanked for their priceless contributions. So here goes (:

Chessy and I left Singapore in the first week of Jan. Although I remember every moment vividly like a sob-scene of a movie playing in my head, the exact date slips my mind. I remember saying goodbye to my grandparents at home. I remember crying as my grandma stopped cooking to hug me and as she did, she said a prayer for me. I remember the horrible dread, like a heavy rock in my heart that just kept sinking and suffocating me. I remember walking up the stairs to my grandad's room trying desperately to stop crying so I wouldn't make him sad. I remember hugging and kissing him and seeing tears spring to his eyes and me quickly turning so I wouldn't cry. Every minute to the airport I was choking back tears like never before. That day was by far the most emotional day of my life. I have never felt so helpless and desperate in my life.

I remember saying goodbye to my family, to amos and to my friends at the airport. I remember the final boarding calls, the uncontrollable tears and the screaming in my head telling me to step away and run as far from the gate as possible. Chessy and I cried and ran to the gate, and as soon as we sat down, the reality of our departure slowly sank in. As the airplane tore away from the ground, the sounds of our choking and tears seemed louder than the engines of the plane. Throughout the 10 hour journey, chessy and I took turns crying and comforting each other, soon we became a bit delirious and happy on the plane. The first stages of denial that we would face as we learnt to live away from home.

That memory has been etched like a burning laser into my heart, and is possibly the most poignant moment of my life. That moment was the key transition from hopeless dependent schoolgirl to independent decisive university student.

This year in NZ has been a series of downs and then gradual ups that have left me beaming with a sense of achievement. The achievement stemming not from the results of my academic year, but from the accomplishment of surviving the year and coming out stronger emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I am blessed to have had most of my family with me studying with me, and for a significant proportion of time, I have had my mother here to be my mentor, driver, best friend - my sanity. Thank you Mum, Jen, and Carol for tolerating a pest in the house.

Without Chessy being here like a siamese twin (cue Gepke), I would not have been able to walk around the halls confidently, laugh and play along the staircases, scare tomu from corners, and use public toilets. Thank you for making up for my weaknesses, and I hope this year has been as momentous a year for year as it has been for me.

Thank you Dad and Co for supporting me from miles away. Thank you for sacrificing time away from Mum so she could come to NZ to be clamoured for attention by me. Co, I trust that next year you will have an equally nurturing experience as I have had, if not better. Despite having to sacrifice many things when it comes to leaving, I promise you that you will not be shortchanged of positive experiences in NZ. You will thrive in the environment here, and flourish in the warmth of your sisters you will have to live with next year.

I have loved and lost, but learnt to love again. Thank you Amos for giving it a shot when it came to a long distance relationship. We tried and we failed, but we learnt at the same time. It is a good feeling to know that you are still friends with an ex and I think it is great that we have not let a good friendship go to waste because of a failed relationship. Thank you for teaching me lessons I could not have learnt otherwise. I wish you a great year next year. Thank you Hans for teaching me how to love again. Thank you for being rock support during my hardest moments, and for being a calming presence when I panicked before English presentations. Thank you for being the best sort of company, and teaching me all these funny chinese words! Thank you for believing in me, and here's to 2006 with you!

I have learnt that if I want to, I can. Thank you laura, fi and all my fantastic friends who have stuck close to me despite the distance. Thank you for the support and words of wisdom imparted over the phone/MSN. Without joint effort, we could have drifted heaps, but we chose to stick close, and it's been wayyy worth it. Raro Lesbiono, Thank you for phone calls at desperate hours, and for being The Ear even at 2am in the morning. Without you, I don't know how I could have made it out smiling (: Even the bestest sort of guy in the world is not good enough for my bestie!

For now, 2005 will soon be over, and I hope 2006 will be one of peace, joy, fun and plenty of laughter. No tears please.



I love you all.