today started off really.. :S went to hostmum's church and i felt so sad. church the past few months has always been at faith with amos. i know that church should be about god, and it is about god, but we were singing all these songs and i just felt huge crashing waves of sadness. i hadn't been to church for 2 weeks until today and it was such an awful feeling. it's starting to really sink in that im gone now. amos and i had this nice sunday routine where we'd go to church together then sunday school and then lunch. now it's all gone and it made me really really sad. i know some of you must be snorting with disgust now, i mean, i know church is about god, and it has always been, but the routine surrounding going to church which i grew to love is now gone. gone. faith, amos, the faith guys and girls, all gone... and the songs which they sing are the songs co plays on the piano, and it made me even more homesick.

we have guests over now, but being the antisocial maggots, chess and i have retreated back into our room to paint bluff tattoos on ourselves. while we were painting tattoos a bug the size of china crawled out under the sofa. i whacked it to death and chess sucked it up with a vac. phew! chess is the sucker. heheeehee.

yesterday our hostmum brought us to drive! chess and i both got to drive around the neighbourhood. it is an automatic car so it is really easy to drive, but it is cool kicks. we are stupid losers who do little things for kicks. sigh.

school again tmr for everyone. it sucks that things are changing so fast with everything. now that ive left things, im helpless where i am. viewing things as they happen and wanting to do something but being in an impossible situation. :( thank god for real friends. i don't want things to change, but what can i say, what can i do? i hate this feeling.

i miss you amos.