i want to be a plastic surgeon when i grow up!

challenges of the present

2006-11-22T23:09:00.000+13:00

I got a new temporary(till I go back to Singapore) job working with Meghan, a 17-year-old intellectually disabled girl after school from Mon-Fri. I always relish the opportunity of a new challenge, but this one has really gotten me stuck in a rut! It is my 3rd day into the job and I am running out of ideas to sustain Meghan's interest! I am running out of Martha Stewart's craft suggestions that she is capable of doing...

Apart from that, I am glad that I found this job. I am definitely not proclaiming it to be a breeze as I have been finding myself trying to come up with something new to do with her everyday, but there is so much to learn from a disabled girl who sees the world differently. Seriously, I come from Singapore, and where I come from, disabled children aren't integrated into society like they are here. As a result, apart from the 6hours of community work you're forced to do, you really aren't exposed to very much of the real world, the real world where not everyone comes out perfect and smart and capable of everything.

I see Meghan go about her day-to-day activities with a huge amount of deliberation and effort and I realise how much I take for granted. Say for example, I take for granted the fact that I can watch a movie and understand it completely after that, whereas for someone intellectually-challenged, even after watching it multiple times, your brain simply can't understand even the basic storyline. Meghan has watched Finding Nemo about a million times, and is only just slowly beginning to grasp the gist of the story.

It is such a cliche, but everyday I am reminded that life really is more than just about being rich and having fun, fun and more fun.

hans' surprise

2006-11-18T19:07:00.000+13:00

A few weeks back just before Hans left, he snuck off to the beach with some friends to "go see sea lions before sunset" Carol, Brent, Jen and I joined them a few hours after expecting to be lighting fireworks for Guy Fawkes day. Instead, I see Hans, Jodie and Jacky across at the other end of the beach going waving to me. I see a small flame, and soon this huge masterpiece burst into flames in front of me. I was at a bad angle, but you can sort of see the words 'I heart you ' in the picture. He shouted I love you Jo before stamping out the fire, and I melted.

i love you too, hans

ANNOYING

2006-11-12T00:22:00.000+13:00

is when you are about to go to bed because you are shacked, but you've just had cups of water and you know that you are going to wake up about a gabillion times to pee at night

AGHHHH, it does not help that the loo is so far away, and by the time I make it there and back, I am already wide awake.

i am not dead

2006-11-08T22:42:00.000+13:00

"you're no longer a sporadic blogger, you're a dead blogger" -Mum

Why hello :)

I know I haven't blogged in about 1m8days, I've been busy with things...nice things :)

So much has happened, but I'll update you on the present.

My exams are over,
my boyfriend has gone to the US,
I am now a very very free woman.
I have yet to get used to this free-ness. It's only been the first day of Hans' absence, I will see how in a week or so. You know how Izzie bakes like crazy after Denny dies? I think I am beginning that phase except thank God Hans isn't gone forever. Tonight I baked snow-capped espresso cookies and had it at night. I don't know how I am going to sleep tonight.

I'm working as a part-time nanny for a family and also as an occasional preschool reliever. All this for pocket money so that I am not a poor girl when I go to Taiwan in Jan. I love my work, I don't even consider it work. Its too fun to be considered work

I've started going to the gym. After two years of going from crazy-exercise-bunny to stagnant-idle -(insert anything gross here)-fatso, I have finally signed a contract allowing a gym to suck money out of my account monthly. If nothing else will motivate me, at least the thought of doing something to get my money's worth will! I am so unfit that everything (I bet even my bones) ache. I must I must LOSE SOME OF THAT FAT OFF MY ARSE. Who can forget those Judy Blume books? :)

Shiny: I'm glad you liked the card. You know, it took me TWO weeks to finally send it off to you, so I'm sure it only got to you after all the birthday excitement had worn off. You're probably not going to see this till after your As, so I hope it went well :) XOXO

Fi: I blogged, finally! I miss you, I haven't seen you in ages and ages, come back soon (when I'm around) I hope you're enjoying uni life, won't you email me one day? :)

the sudden twist

2006-09-30T20:31:00.000+12:00

Lately I have been so busy with work and other random activities that I haven't been updating. When I update (like so!) it means that something significant and important has cropped up that has justified a blog entry.

Everyone who has known me for long enough knows that for as long as I've been around, I have wanted to study medicine and eventually become a doctor that (hopefully) saves lives. It feels like it's nearly programmed into my genetic code ---> grow up watching inspiring ER-type dramas, study hard, get into Med school, slave at it, become a successful doctor. Simple as that. The interest, the passion, I feel nearly inbred having my father, my grandfather, my granduncles, grandaunts etc all being(been) doctors, some even being pioneers in their respective fields.

Life seems to like pulling the carpet from beneath me because all of a sudden, I feel like my life has taken a sharp turn and I feel nearly breathless from the sudden change in my life's events.

Don't ask me again - I'm not in Med school, I am in a First Year Health Sciences course that within your pool, leaves you competing for spaces in professional courses such as Med, Dent, Pharmacy, Physiotherapy, etc. In the beginning of the year, it was about 1600 students competing for the hot choices, but now the number has dwindled down some.

The competition to get into Medicine is tremendous. It is (at times) sickening, underhanded, selfish and too competitive. Sometimes it feels like people don't know why they want to get into Med School, just that maybe because it is prestigious, exclusive and competitive to get into. The competition, together with a blend of other enlightening factors, have left me sickened. Crazy muggers and fiercely competitive students have, to me, bastardized the essence of studying medicine - that is, to learn the art and principle of healing. It is now, to some, all about getting into something that is exclusive and highly admired in their respective countries. Who cares about helping and service to the community, I just want to be revered. Whatever.

I've thought hard about it, consulted many, and asked myself carefully - Do I want to sacrifice a huge portion of my life in the pursuit of continual medical education? Do I want to give up potential "being a mother" time slaving at the hospital trying to gain residency? Do I want to be on call all morning and night? I've been through these lists in my head endlessly for days on end now, and I've decided.

I've decided that although a fierce passion to become a doctor and serve the community lies in my heart, it isn't enough to drive me through the endless sacrifices required of a doctor, including endless studying and on-call hours to clinch a stable position within the hospital (which in itself will take years and years), and the thought of having to sacrifice a lot when I eventually become a wife and a mother.

I've prayed about this some, but the answer as to what I should then do isn't clear to me. I have decided that I will study as though I am driven to get into Med, I will then see which doors God closes for me, and which he opens. From there, I will make my decision as to the step I will take towards my eventual career path. So this means that Med isn't totally out of the books, but it means that I feel that God might have other plans for me.

So the purpose of this entry is so when I say, no, I decided not to pursue Med in the end, you won't give me a shell-shocked omg you didn't look, nor will you give me a you are nothing but a huge let-down and a serious disappointment. I've thought further into the future than most people would normally because the last thing I want to do is regret in the future. So don't say I'm a disappointment, because contrary to what you think, I don't want to disappoint me in my future.

15 mins with an excavator

2006-09-04T19:50:00.000+12:00

I DROVE THIS THIS THIS TODAY! yes ma'am, i can dig a six feet hole in the ground for you with one of these now ;)

longing but not really wanting

2006-08-27T00:01:00.000+12:00

Sometimes when I get really absolutely brain-numbingly bored, I go onto friendster and stalk.

No matter how happy I am with my current life, after seeing pictures of friends and where they are at now, I always find myself with a sense of longing and nostalgia for what-was, although I might not necessarily want it in my current situation. I can't quite explain this funny feeling I get, but maybe it is a feeling of having left Singapore and so much that was important to me to set up shop in NZ. Life is so different for me now, I left my friends to come here, and obviously my friends have moved on. I feel so torn wanting to be with my friends and going wild, dizzy with teenage freedom, but at the same time happy to live my carefree existence with a set routine about my day that makes everything feel so normal. Sometimes I wonder whether I've seriously missed out big time coming here, or whether I'm heaps better off. It's just one of those days!

One week break and then it's the final stretch towards the finals for the year. Time this year has passed exceedingly quickly and I can barely stop to catch my breath. This year is the deciding year as to whether I score well enough to make it into Med-2 or another degree, yet I don't feel any stress, just peace at the thought that whatever the outcome, I will still feel happy and accomplished.

I have been scheming in my head different plans for my year next year and also my life in general. How many degrees do I want to study for? How soon do I want to marry? Where do I want to be in 10 years time? This is all so exciting yet I do feel lost in my head sometimes!

Francesca Oh, I hope you have a great time in UK. I will care for your special friend here, hahaha, don't you worry. Special like eeyore-special! HAHAHHAAA, I don't even think you will understand what I mean.

I miss so much, yet I don't miss anything at all.

FOUR days till they come off (:

2006-08-11T23:20:00.000+12:00

Firstly, Happy 18th Birthday Fi Smithy!
I am so sorry this took so long to come... I hope you like the present I got you (: XOXO
I have known feeeks since what... sec 2? And becoming friends with her has been the best thing ever. From tennis mates to becoming this person I can tell all my nonsense to! Love you babe!

Exam timetable is out and my four papers start in about 2plus months, and end by Oct 31st. And to kick off this soon-to-be-great pre-exam crazy study cycle, Hans has booked us into a (library) room for like 4hours on a (possibly nice and sunshiney) Saturday afternoon!! By the end of those 4hrs, I would have coloured my face with all my wonderful Faber Castell markers just from being cooped up in a yucky room. BUT IT'S OKAY! =)

I love the colours on my hair, but washing it so regularly has really faded the pretty colours. Now I'm more orangey-blondey-bits than reddish-orangey-blondey-bits. Right now I have trouble every morning trying to find clothes that won't clash with my crazy hair. I don't even wear earrings anymore in fear of becoming an eyesore. BUTTTT, I really like this hairstyle, and I won't cut and re-dye it until I absolutely have to. And that means me having worn all my black/white/easy-to-match clothes at least 20 times over (:

crystal/kristalle: Crystal you have been a fantastic regular blogger and I'm so happy with you! (: I miss you and hope you're doing rllyyy well, can't wait to go back and go swimming at the club with you! KRISTALLE POOON thanks for like never updating your blog! Go do something about it!! I hope you're realllyyy good, and we have to chat soon :) XOXOXO krystalles

oh and i forgot to sayyy

2006-08-07T22:58:00.000+12:00

SEVEN days till my braces come off!!!

birthdays/haircuts/XOXO

2006-08-07T21:59:00.000+12:00

I haven't blogged in FRICKIN forever, but since I'm in the mood (:

In the month of July, I celebrated 2 birthdays, got damn sick, had an anniversary and had a hair comp.

Photos now because I'm too lazy to type. Be warned though that the hairr on moiz head goes from flat and drab to like crazayy

Co's 16th birthday - 17th July (:

Blackforest gateau yummmmm

Carol's 21st birthday - 26th July XOXO

XOXOXO

Chessy is here for a visit! This is like the only photo I've taken with her so far. Hairdressing competition - 7 Aug

I modelled for my neighbour and she won 4th; her husband won 1st

my hair and the dirty mirror
staying still in an awkward position for 25 mins hurrts

The Addams family plus It dining on Asian

HAHAHHAAA, SO THAT'S BEEN MEEEE FOR THE PAST MONTHH

Lizzy Lim: I hope you've been realllyyy well. Chessay tells me you're damn funky now (: Can't wait to see you in dec! All the best for your prelims XOXO

Fi smithy: hope singapore's been treating you well babes! take in some sunshine for mee (: XOXO

(because I know you read this!)

2006-07-01T20:56:00.000+12:00

Happy birthday, Dennis!

A.W.O.LLLLL

2006-06-23T23:01:00.000+12:00

Ever since the end of exams, I have been undergoing major apoptosis. My cells are dying and regenerating and when it's time to study I'll be allll gooooooood (:

Driving is not fun. I don't like driving for all that is at stake. However, I am committing myself to driving at least once a day so that by the end of the holidays, I would hopefully be at least a bit more promising behind the wheel. Since March this year, I have been able to drive on my own without a supervisor. However, that doesn't mean I have....right up until yesterday! I took my virgin car ride yesterday all on my own! It was a short trip with no parking involved albeit a very nerve-wrecking one. Sometimes I wish I were a guy, driving seems a hell lot easier for them.

My days have been a pathetic blur. I wake up, bake food, nibble at my baking, muck around, have dinner and stone. I have, however, found Sudoku! Even better, I found a crack to kill the timer on my trial version software which made everything a whole lot sweeter.

Ok I'm going to play sudoku now (:

chilblains and pee!

2006-06-19T23:08:00.000+12:00

To celebrate the onset of ridiculously frosty weather characteristic of dunedin winter, I got myself chilblains on extremities FR345.

Legend:
H: hands ; F: foot
R: right ; L: left
1, 2 ,3 ,4, 5 referring to the digits on one's hand

It is horrible and yet I seem to get it every winter. It is sore and thank god it doesn't go gross on me and blister. It just gets uber uber itchy at nights when I'm trying to sleep. One itchy bitch I tell you. So in my desperation, I go online and look for chilblain remedies, and one crazy website tells me to "reserve urine and bathe foot in it for 3-5 minutes" How utterly horrible. Not only will you go to bed itchy, but you will smell too. I will sooner scratch myself raw than bathe my affected area in pee.

It is really weird not having Hans around after spending every single day of my year this year with him. This time apart will really do us good, but at the moment I am finding myself a little lost at times. Thank God for family here to occupy me and a new car to learn to drive.

I must credit my mum for being one brave champ and taking me driving in the car. The next 3 weeks of my driving is going to be all supervised by Mum, so... I love you Mum! Even if I get cross at you in the car you must know that I'm trying really hard to do what you tell me to do!

I miss you, buddy

Meet Old Soul

2006-06-18T21:39:00.000+12:00

For Fathers' Day today, my dad bought a new car for the family! When I say new car for the family, it actually means a learning car for Carol, Co and I that won't cause a massive heart ache if we accidentally dent. One day when I become so so fine at driving and whizzing around, I am going to buy myself a reeeaallly flash car to zoom around in. But for now I will happily settle for second-hand Jap car to bring me places! So, to commemorate this fine fine landmark day, we have decided to name the car old soul. Happy Fathers' Day, Pap!

This weekend has been a breakthrough one. My mum sat in my car for the first time in 2 years of me (learning to) driving. Of course she didn't have a choice, we were in the middle of nowhere test driving cars, but MAN I would have fainted if I were her. Like Hans gently reminded me while trying to resucitate the car You're stalling in the middle of a highway, Jo. Scary part was that I wasn't panicking because I've been in hairier situations. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE ABLE TO DRIVE properly!

chessy! zara at 6 months (i think)

2006-06-15T21:38:00.000+12:00

Life is getting a bit more exciting

2006-06-15T21:23:00.000+12:00

The fact that exams are over tmr and my life is picking up just goes to show how bad exams are for you.

Chessy we got an inverter installed into the dining area so we have warm warm air blowing at us and it's not cold anymore!

I installed this programme and now I have to catalogue about 5000 photos in my computer. I really don't know how I acquired so many photos within 2ish years but it gives me a chance to go through and delete all this junk I never got down to doing. I've been through a measly two folders out of 50 probably and I'm pretty sure I'll come across heaps of interesting ones which I'll put up! (Chessy, you die! You know most of my retarded shots are with you)

Hans leaves on Sunday which leaves me TWENTY-TWO days to myself! After he comes back there's physics terms, UMAT, my uber cool haircut with him and then my braces come off! I was watching greys the other day and she said something like like braces and training bras and I was like uhhhhh I guess I'm a few years late, if I were wearing a training bra now, I would die to see what I'd be like after. Hehe, RARO! =D I cannot wait. Twenty-two days to myself, I'm really not sure what I'm going to do, but I'll find something to do.

English is tmr and the marking within the department is worse than a menopausal woman, seriously. :/

a geek's room!

2006-06-12T00:26:00.000+12:00

Anyone who knows me would know that I am ordinarily a really neat freak. Mess kills me and eats into my very being but anything out of sight is as good as out of mind for me. If I see mess, I can shove it into a cupboard and will myself really hard not to instinctively scramble to the cupboard to arrange it back by shape size and colour.

So anyway, the past week or so has been all about studying and I honestly haven't had the time to make space anywhere except at my desk. My clotheshorse is getting fattttterr, I chuck everything onto it. so anyway, tonight I stood in the middle of my room and looked round with pride, my room is becoming more like that of a geek's!

If grades are absolutely reflective of the amount of mess in a person's room, I will happily open my cupboards, fling everything onto the floor, walk into my room with shoes, and eat frosted cornflakes in bed! I will try anything, give me my marks :(

Bio die-o

2006-06-10T00:37:00.000+12:00

As 1200 other students might have also exclaimed today One down! Two more to go!

I am so excited because I just have to study hard Sat/Sun/Mon, and by Tuesday, Chem will be over. I get to slack off till English on Friday and my dad is coming!

I cannot wait :)

This is a really random post in a poor attempt to revive my blog.

Anyway, I have a feeling Chem might be a killer paper, but hopefully my preparation for the paper will pay off. However, the fact that I'm still up at 1230am when I have a huge study day later on is not helping.

Anyway, Physics this year is seriously pretty slack and I love it! This is what it says:

The
midyear exam contribution towards the final mark in this paper is 18%.
We operate a system of plussage which means you get the opportunity to
improve your midyear exam mark by your performance in the final exam.
If your percentage score in the final exam is better than your
percentage score in the midyear exam, we replace your midyear exam
score with your final exam score when calculating the contribution of
the midyear exam to your total mark for the paper. Plussage allows you
to translate improvements in understanding over the whole course into a
better mark at the end of the course, and to learn from the experience
of sitting the midyear exam.

IMPORTANT. Plussage operates only to improve your overall
mark. This means that if your midyear exam score is better than your
final exam score, we use your midyear exam score to calculate the
midyear exam contribution towards your final overall mark.

This year plussage will operate whether or not you sit the midyear
exam. However, you should recognise that it is in your best interests
to sit the midyear exam.
YES!!!! On top of that, we are allowed to bring in one sheet of A4 paper with Anything written on it! This is not including the formulae sheet we are provided. I love the physics department, but 4 years running with this subject has not improved my (lack of) flair for physics.

The next time you hear from me, I will be one FREEEEE bird!

The fight to come out Unscathed

2006-06-03T00:53:00.000+12:00

I am still alive.

Under this mess of papers, textbooks and files is this pathetic flailing body struggling to breathe.

Just for the record, Health Sciences First Year 2006 is quite a messed-up course. So much for it being The Year to compete for entrance into professional degrees.

I will regain my composure in exactly 14 days time. Tiddlydoos till then!

my TRAMP-oliney CHESS

2006-05-27T00:00:00.000+12:00

Chesky, you are super super lucky that blogger is malfunctioning in your favour and I can't put up a super photo of you. Nevermind, as soon as it is working again, it will go up!

To my dearest chisky,

YOU ARE OLD! Haha, I just did that to make your ass pucker and make you go RAR! Haha, you were 16 last year, too bad, you are 18 18 18 18 this year! Hahaha. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 years!!

I got to know you inside out on your 17th year, and knowing you and what is most important to you, I cannot be more happy for anyone else that you get to spend your special 18 at home with family :)

It has been an immense blessing to have had the opportunity to embark on a exciting journey last year in January, and I hope the following 11 months were as memorable and sweet as they are for me. I will always hold those memories of the tears, laughter, farts, screams and ugly faces that we shared as room mates and eventually host-sisters very dear to my heart.

I am so grateful that you are this trigger-happy camera geek that took photos at every opportunity because now I have this massive album that I can look back and smile at. If I could, I would put up every single picture that means something to me, but blogger sucks and chessy got lucky. The experiences we had from 2005 are too vast for me to recount each and every one of them, but can I just say chix, that there is no better person around than you. No one would tolerate the amount of nonsense and emotions that I come with, only you would do silly videos with me!

I do miss you heaps this year, but I know that you are having too much fun in Singapore and that is more important! The fun from 2005 will last me awhile :)

This is the most fragmented entry ever, but I hope you get what I mean cheskarella! You are my pee-culiar friend! HAHHAHAHAHAHAA. kidneys kidneys!

LOVE YOU! XOOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Jo-ger hehehehhh.

the Unrelenting Pressure that is my year

2006-05-14T20:02:00.001+12:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, I was absolutely busy the past week or so, and only yesterday did I finally manage to take a breath, sit in bed and relax.

I had my Bio 30% terms yesterday that went so-so. I'm crossing my fingers that they moderate, but that aside, I'm glad that it's another assessment crossed off my Very Long List. For about a week and a half before the test, Hans and I went all-out and basically studied day upon day, waking hour upon waking hour. If that made sense. Save for the few moments of occasional rest that kept us sane, we studied. A lot. I went to bed exhausted every night. The sort of exhaustion where the minute your head touches the pillow, you knock out, and don't stir till the dreaded alarm goes off the next morning. I don't know what drove me, but I felt myself burning out by Friday, and I was glad because I managed to hold out that long.

God was good to me. I was around sick people (hans and co) for awhile, and initially I thought I was going to fall ill too, but apart from a very mild scratchy throat that has since disappeared, I managed to fight off everything else!

Well, this is just to fill you all in on my life in case you don't hear from me for a while. I am on an extended break that I will hopefully come out of tmr! It has been a good two days of rest, I even baked gingerbread men last night, and went down to play with my neighbours for a bit

For now, I have an english speech in 1 week, my bio exam in 3 weeks, my chem exam in 4 weeks, and my english exam in 5 weeks. If you guys don't hear from me for awhile, it's cos my head is buried under books.

Till the next time I find the opportunity to update!

Fi: Enjoy the last days of your school... When does it end? When are your important dates anyway!

Mel: How have you been, chick? Hope things have been great for you, enjoy carefree school while you can! (:

Chess: Please sort out what's happening with you, I want to know when I can see you next!

Yiqian: Heyhey fellow com member! You're really amazing to have around, and I can't wait to take you babysitting with me.. (:

the Unrelenting pressure that is my year

2006-05-14T20:02:00.000+12:00

HAHAHHAHAHAHAA

2006-05-07T15:58:00.000+12:00

CHESSSSSY!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA

Wrong post at the Wrong Time

2006-05-02T23:27:00.000+12:00

Just a few random thoughts before I head off to bed.

L.L.L. : I am SO glad that you're alright. You will always be my L.L. =P

Yeoyiqian: I had lots of fun working with you. Thanks for all your help you super girl! I really credit my ability to fit into the kebaya to your quick fingers! ;)

Wong: Of course I remember you! How are you? Hope you're well, winter is coming, wrap warm (:

Carol: Why, Why, Why, if it isn't Carol Shmarol. :D:D:D Kudos to my sister/president!

Mum has left to go back to Singapore temporarily. It is so strange to not have anyone in the room directly above me. But at the same time, it still feels so good because for the first time in years, we have all 4 of us in the same house living together!

The ASEAN Night bubble that I had been living in for a few weeks prior to the show has officially popped. I need a new bubble! A study-my-arse-off bubble! Ok, this is a promise to myself: I will will will start disciplining myself when it comes to work, and I will will will start serious studying (alliteration!) tmr, Wednesday May 3, 2006.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:(

My month in a Night

2006-04-30T14:38:00.000+12:00

ASEAN Night 2006

Months of meetings, weeks of headaches, days of sleepless nights and hours of blind panic all ended in one amazing night. Working with a group of extremely talented people, we managed to put together ASEAN Night with an audience of about 350 people.

I was very fortunate to get to host the event with someone really experienced (Darren), and combining all these months together with last night, I have learnt SO much. I've learnt how to work with people of different cultures, I've learnt how to lead as a friend, I've learnt that things can't always be precisely perfect like clockwork, but mostly importantly, I've learnt that if you leave everything to God, He won't fail you.

I shan't jabber on, but I would like to say thank you to everyone who I've had the wonderful opportunity to work with. We all had our hysterical moments, but in the end, everything glued perfectly together and the best part of all, I made lots of great friends.

It's so bittersweet now that it has ended, but because it ended with very successfully, I really have no regrets. I'm not sure if I would do it again, but I know that that night was a night on it's own.

Here's to talking nonsense on stage, hysteria, blind panic, sweaty palms, random shit, lots and lots of makeup and nice hair, bright lights, pretty clothes and most importantly friendship.

the worst times are the best times

2006-04-26T18:51:00.000+12:00

don't we always find that the best times to blog are the worst possible occasions? I have a script to write, an analysis to read through, bio notes to write, but it's all okay! I'll blog first! :P

ASEAN Night 2006 is this Sat, so if you're reading this and you haven't bought your tickets, get your asses down to the booth at Union!

On a separate note, I FREAKING parallel parked the other day!! I mean, aside from the fact that I turned white and was scared stiff to hit the cars and that Hans had to yell at me to do it, I DID IT!!!

Check this out!!

It's in the lines and that's all that matters!!! HAHAHAHA.

Okayyy back to business :) I just wanted to gloat :)

2006-04-17T22:25:00.000+12:00

I bought new markers today to encourage me to study. Lots and lots of colourful Faber Castell ones, even metallic ones!! Here I come pretty mindmaps and adventurous study schedules.....except that I'M OFF TO CHRISTCHURCH ON A MIND-BLOWING SHOPPING EXPEDITION!! hhehee, this is what happens when you've been stuck in one-lousy-shopping-mall-Dunedin for too long a time. Ciao till then bellas! ;) I'll reply my non-existent-tagboard-except-for-tiff laterr! =D

the hippie that was set to give birth in lectures

2006-04-13T23:48:00.000+12:00

love the socks!

2006-04-10T23:26:00.000+12:00

By some form of divine intervention (or so my mum claims), I passed my driving test exactly 14 days ago. In those 14 days, I have had horrible/harrowing/shit-in-your pants experiences. I really thank God that despite having passed my Restricted test and being legal to drive on my own, I haven't been dumb enough to do so, and every time I freaked out in a bad situation there was someone beside me to calm me down.

BAD BAD Experiences
Although it is good, it really is hard as anything to drive in NZ. There are hills everywhere. Hills = Hillstart and screeching tyres and burning clutches. (I was made to learn in a manual car).

Bad experience 1. (Certainly not my first, but this will start my list)
This happened two days before I was going to take my test. Hans made me drive around in his car to practice and his car is very different from Jen's car (that I'm used to). To cut things short, I was stuck on a hill for TWO GREEN lights while I tried to do a hillstart. I thought I was going to reverse into the huge line of cars patiently waiting behind me and I was screaming in the car. Thank God for kind Kiwis who understand learner drivers. After that hill, there was ANOTHER hill to scale to park, and I was frazzled, the gear wasn't in place, and I basically burnt his clutch to a near crisp. There was a sick smell of rubber and a very white Jo after that.

Bad experience 2.
I was going to do a simple manoeuvre and repark Hans' car that was parked by the curb. Hans' car has a really really low body kit that was newly redone. In a nutshell, I gave it it's first scratch after it's virgin few days, and I made my boyfriend press his horrified face to the ground trying to examine the damage I had done. Boys and their toys, seriously. Since then, I have made a personal vow not to touch Hans' car till I can actually reverse properly.

Bad experience 3.
I was going round a bend when I stalled, so in the middle of a turn, the engine switched off. So I turned it back on, but it wouldn't start! I tried and tried, cars were zooming past me, and there was another car behind me. The car must be so tired of me and it must be crying why me. In the end, Hans (who has since become my hero/car fairy) had to push it a few feet to the side of the road while I steered it to safety. The car eventually started again, but shit man, can you imagine if I had been alone. I would have just cried and ran from the car.

Bad experience 4.
I live in a house with a very steep driveway. As in VERY steep driveway. 3 out of 5 times, my effort to go up and down ends up in me causing the tyres to screech and to leave black angry marks on the driveway. It is so embarrassing. My mum knows when I've driven home because she would feel her heart stop when she hears the car sputtering and screeching up the driveway.

All in all, I think that I am a very horrible driver, and that its going to take a bit more than divine intervention for me to pass the gruelling full licence test in a year's time. So for all those who complain about not be old enough to get their licence and that driving is peanuts, shut up and think about me. HAHAHAHAHA.

chessy cat chessy cat, how are you?

2006-04-08T16:42:00.000+12:00

chester, do you remember taking this photo?

WHY I DON'T LIKE USING COMPUTERS AT UNI

2006-04-04T19:28:00.000+12:00

The computers on campus are germy :/ The number of people that use a single computer terminal each day is beeeg, think about the number of sticky, nose-picky hands that fiddle with the keyboard and mouse! The only reason I use the computers is because I need to print lecture notes or do tests online. Seriously, damn eww.

The other day (ages ago) I was using a computer at a desk and I crossed my leg under the table and felt something sticky. I was like #$%^&*((*&^%$#

The rather innocuous-looking keyboard ridden with germs, filth and breakfast crumbs of about 200 people

I looked under the desk and it was pink (original flavour) bubblegum. Apart from the dirt it must have picked up from the pants of others sitting at the table, think about the saliva! YUCK. Meningitis can pass by saliva :/

This happens at tables you pull out at your seats at lecture theatres too. I never realised how much change Singapore experienced when they decided to ban the sale of gum, seriously.

As stupid as I must look, I always under a table before crossing my legs or putting my jacket on my lap now.

On a sidenote, I got makeup from my neighbour today!! =D =D God must be saying good job for studying in the afternoon and not sleeping! I got bluey-grey eyeshadow I was eyeing and nearly bought, some foundation, and also a whole lot baby-puke on my jeans while I carried Zara today. Makeup makes up for ALL the babypuke Zara can give me in a week!! =D

bird brain, guts and all

2006-04-01T12:13:00.000+12:00

I live in a house with lots of large windows, and glass doors. Our living area is a little like a glass house, sort of. Well, we have had many birdie accidents, and the most-fatal (if there's such a word), was discovered when we were about to move in.

I discovered the remains with Chess and her mum and Kally, and it was quite funny. We were walking towards the kitchen when I saw a white bird frozen (it was a cold day I think) lying on the deck. It was quite dead and fearing it would stink up the deck+house+surrounding air, I took a plastic chair and with chess' help, nudged the dead white bird off the side of the deck. I didn't think much about it after that. Just assumed that it died from the cold.

After moving in, we have realised that our house is a hazard to all these creatures with brains the size of nuts. In a nutshell, the birds don't realise that they're flying into a glass window. Sometimes you hear a sound like someone threw a pebble against the glass, but this time, it was a huge THUCK! during a quiet dinner that made me run to the window. Enough words, I'll show you pictures, and after that you guess whether the stupid bird lived.

The bird left this behind. It does look like shit, but I doubt a bird can shit and concuss at the same time.

On closer inspection, I deduce it might be guts spewed from shock.

So did it live?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I opened the window to look out to see the dead bird on the floor, but there was nothing! So I think it lived. It must have hit the window really hard, spewed its guts, and then rebounded off back into the sky.

Disappointed that there was no dead bird for me to nudge off again, I went back to eating my dinner, and the next day, my poor mum had to go out to wash the window that the window cleaner had just cleaned.

sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows (:

2006-03-16T19:42:00.000+13:00

Everytime I feel a little overwhelmed, and start considering whether or not to stop babysitting Ruth (the older one) and Sarah, God gives me the most perfect Saturday afternoon with them. After that, I know for sure that I'm definitely doing a good thing spending two hours of every Sat afternoon with them.

Everytime Hans drops me outside their house, both of them go berserk. Ruth starts shouting HELLO! HELLO JO! COME AND PLAY! and sarah starts babbling and running around in circles, because everytime they see me, it means it's time to play.

If you don't already know, Karen (Ruth and Sarah's mum) is hearing-impaired and also has tunnel vision. She is a fantastic mother to them, but me going to their house every Sat gives her a break without the kids (the only time the entire week), and it also means that if it's a good day, the kids can go out and play (With Karen's poor vision, the girls can't go out to play except with their father because Karen just can't see beyond a certain distance)

Last Sat, I went to babysitting with a heart prepared to tell them I might have to stop coming every Sat because of other commitments. But seeing their excited screams and hugs, I just knew I simply can't. A small effort on my part goes a long way at their end, and even though I don't get paid, it's all about blessing those who need it more, isn't it?

That's Sarah, who still hasn't quite learnt how to speak intelligibly yet, but who's certainly getting there.

And that's Sarah again feeling violated by her easily-excited sister, Ruth

This girl can melt even Hans' heart

(: It's worth it, isn't it?

chronic fatigue syndrome is(chessy) me

2006-03-11T00:03:00.000+13:00

chezzi and raro, this is a quick one for both of you before I run out of steam for the night (very near to)

I have been SO terribly busy that I'm sorry if I've neglected either of you. Raro, we really have to talk this weekend, and you need to give me some sort of warning so that I can rest a bit before talking to you. As it is now (as you would have learnt from the last call chezz), I can barely gather the energy to take the call, let alone babble and fill the caller in on my juicy(-less) life.

Off the top of my head, I have to complete OSC Membership form, attend OSC meeting, go babysitting, study my CHEM, do my BIOL notes, do my laundry, vacuum my room, be a good sister/daughter/girlfriend, DRIVE!, make calls for ASEAN Night performances, do PHSI notes, go to church on Sun, and finally, throw up my guts and catch them and make them into some sort of exotic dish to serve to anyone who gets in my way this weekend. Kill me already.

GRRRUMPUSS

2006-03-01T22:10:00.000+13:00

I swear, I am experiencing my period in reverse.

Boys, seriously, stop reading right about here.

---------------------------------------------------------

Ok, normally as my girlfriends would know it, I get SO unbelievably cranky before my period comes. Well, this month I was exceptionally light, fluffy and cheerful, and was quite taken by horror when I got my period. Well, post-period, I am about to punch somebody. Everything is either too noisy, too shrill, too fast, too crinkly or too smelly. SHITTTTT

Shumin, if you're reading this: It sucked that we couldn't catch up when I was back in Sg, MY BAD! but I hope you're really living it up in Oz now! We'll catch up when summer comes, ok? Be happy, sunshine! MUAH!

Chesky, I saw Ryan the other day and he is browner and funnier. Hahaha, Ryan I know you're reading this. Where is Duane? Or Dwayne? =D

Chesky, how was NUH internship thing? I am listening to the luckiest and it totally reminds me of you. And the other day when I was feeling miserable going to school without you and friendless, Stand Up by The Feelers came on the radio! And I can't listen to James Blunt without seeing your swooning face.

There are Singaporeans here but I haven't gotten the absolute best impression around here. And I ditto what Carol commented at dinner - there are hottt guys in my year!! Hans says there are hot chicks, I have yet to see.

Today in Chem 112 lecture, the lecturer wanted to show us how much energy there is in an M&M, so he warmed up a test tube till it was about to explode, threw ONE M&M in and it literally exploded into green flames. After that the whole 500 capacity lecture theatre smelt like burnt cotton candy. So yes, everyone (except chess), think about how much energy you are consuming when you eat a packet of M&Ms.

2006-02-28T21:15:00.000+13:00

School so far has been alright. At least for the times I'm at school. The past two days have been slack and I've only needed to go to school in the afternoons. In the mornings, I'm home baking. =)Yesterday I made peach and pear muffins and today I made a banana cake. =) Hahahaha

When I'm actually in school, it is pretty boring except catching up with friends and getting to sit beside Hans in lectures! Yes, it is still a novelty!

I am deliberating whether or not to change my ENGL tutorial on thursday nights from 7-9pm to a more decent time. But if I apply to have it changed, I risk ruining my other nice slack days. I would die if my perfect mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays and fridays got ruined. Haha, actually, after writing it out, I think it is better for me to just brace myself on thursdays, then enjoy the rest of the week. Ok, ahhahaaa, my hardest days are thursdays. 9am-9pm. Be nice to me on days approaching thursday, on the day itself, and the one day after :D

It's a bit harder to make friends in HSFY when there are 1600 students milling around and 500+ students crammed into each lecture. Everyone just becomes a dot in the crowd and I'm so thankful I studied FY and made some friends first. It's nice to see some friends about and I can't wait to make new ones. But in a silly way, I guess making friends is the last of my priorities - after studies, family and a boyfriend.

The biggest difference here for me is that I'm fortunate enough to have my whole family here whereas others don't. So while friends become family for most here, family is still my family here. Sometimes I find it hard when I see all these people who have made friends in their halls and cliques while I don't have that sort of network because I live at home. Then I realise after that that I'm so sheltered here. I have family, a warm home to go home to, a fantastic mum who makes sure we have yummy food to eat. Sometimes its just a matter of waking up to the fact that I'm actually SO lucky and that I should stop moaning about the most trivial things.

Health Sciences First Year

2006-02-25T23:46:00.000+13:00

Well darlings, while waiting for Hans to call, I shall finally seize the opportunity to update this dead blog.

Sorry for taking for long to update my blog, I thought that a new layout (do you like it? =D THANKS BEX!) would make me feel like updating a bit more, but since leaving Sg, I have been too busy.

Popped by Sydney again for 3 nights and had a really good time. Good as in, nice-hot-summery-weather and smoked-salmon-on-crackers-for-breakfast sort of Good. Heh (: I did a little bit more shopping and thank god we made it through check-in without having to pay for excesses (despite being preeedy overweight)

The first few days being back happened really fast and only after a few days did it slowly sink in - I am back in Dunedin for another year of study. Yikes and Yay, really. I have still been on holiday though, save for a few rounds of paperwork that had to be done and a preliminary lecture to attend on Friday. Lectures officially start on Monday, and tutorials and labs the following week. There are 1608 students in my year, imagine. I fail to fathom the amount competition to get into Med or Dent :/

It feels SO weird to come back to Dunedin and not have Chess here with me. So Chixy, this is for you! On the first night, it felt weird not going into your room to arrange what time to go down into town the following morning. In the bathroom, it felt very empty not seeing your green toiletries bag on the metal cart. In the kitchen the next morning, it felt very weird not preparing your milo for you. Even for Hans, he says its weird not running to your room and screeching cheeesieeee!!!! Sigh, it really is a new year.

My timetable this year is a bit bizarre compared to the monotonous 9-4pms and 10-5pms that we had in FY. This year, on Mon I only have classes from 4-6pm, but on Thur, I have classes from 9-9pm. Beat that. Hahaha, I wonder how I am going to manage.

I really hope I make lots of new friends this year. It's hard always having to leave friends behind when you fly to NZ. Aiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(

come flyyyy with me lets flyy lets flyy awayy

2006-02-09T22:45:00.000+13:00

ok stupid title but I just had to blog about this so I can read about it months from now and relive this indescribable moment!

HANS LEE IS COMING TO SINGAPORE IN 45 MINS!!

forgive me, but I have not seen him in nearly 9 weeks. all this feels so surreal, it's something i've been looking forward to in a really long time and now that it's here, I'm sort of feeling sleepy. It's been a jumble of experiences this holiday, and now this is surely the icing on top of everything.

It harrrrttt (Carol!) to have been away for so long but now that it's time for school I'm feeling pretty : / about going back and saying goodbye to home.

Ok enough enough now. Ciao darlings off to the airpooorttt =)

Another Summer Gone By

2006-02-04T03:51:00.000+13:00

I have been here 3 days short of 2 months, and I've loved every bit of it. I have spent time with family, worked in a real office, babysat, done tourist-y things, travelled to Malaysia, gambled, shopped like there was no tomorrow, read at least ten novels, and a whole lot of other things I can't remember just yet.

So, Hans comes to Singapore in less than a week, and his arrival marks my last few days in Singapore. After he flies back to NZ, Carol and I will follow suit via Sydney a few days after. It is definitely an intense bittersweet feeling - I can't wait to go back and settle into the routine of work and play, yet at the same time I feel myself clinging to the family environment here, Dad and Mum upstairs, Kongkong and Mama next door, and cousins every Sat - It's never easy is it?

I do feel the need to go back for a few reasons that have only become more nagging recently. The freedom of doing as I please has been incredible, however, lack of brain activity has left me a spluttering, stuttering, no-short-term-memory Goon. All this talk about wanting to study hard this year and get into Med or Dent, I have to get moving!

It has also been getting harder being away from Hans. It's been two months, and admittedly, these two months have passed by very briskly. However, the brisk speed has slowly turned into a pathetic crawl and each day has left me wanting him to come here earlier! It has become obviously harder to be apart. Absence does really intensify love and I'm just hoping we'll have a great year ahead.

Being back in Singapore has been quite hard friends-wise. Everyone is busy with school, CCAs, and other commitments and they have so little time that you don't want to impose on them with what little free time they have left. I have been away from the whole friends scene for a really long time, and more than that, everyone started school in AC with new friends and new cliques. I find myself constantly wondering what it would have been like if I have not left - would I be having fun with life in AC? The lifestyle in NZ is so different I can't compare, and to be honest, I can't say which I prefer. Studies-wise, NZ is definitely my choice, but friends- and socialising-wise, I think Singapore is the way to go. I keep having to remind myself that I have other friends in NZ, and my boyfriend is there, but part of me wishes to be part of a group here, so things would be a bit more happening. This loneliness and exclusion is semi-intensified by the absence of Hans, the hectic schedule of my friends, and also the absence of my friends in NZ. I came back not expecting to be part of any group, or to resume friendships as I had left them, but what I did not expect was to have this feeling of emptiness wondering what it would be like to be part of a group, and to be part of ACJC.

All this said, I have enjoyed my summer back throughly and I have had the most amazing time with family and relatives. Now I can't wait for Hans to come, and it will be the chocolate-frosted icing on the top of my greatgreat holiday back.

I'm rubbing my hands with anticipation for what 2006 in NZ brings me.

happy new year 10 days late

2006-01-11T01:31:00.000+13:00

i have no more maids.

My mum found out that they had been up to a whole lot of naughty naughty stuff and promptly sent them home to indo. So now we've all been marias and cleaning, sweeping, mopping, ironing, washing and omg, the whole works. Thank god I have no school, and please God, send the new maid round soon.

Not much to say. The less you blog the less you have to say. Oh Oh!! I got my first ever call on my phone from an airplane! Beat that! Hehehh, not overseas, but actually over seas. Hehehehhh. My uncle and greataunt's plane from London has been delayed by over 9 hrs because they got diverted to Bgkk for a medical emergency. So now instead of picking them up at 2.55pm, we are going to pick them up at 1150pm later. Holy smokes, right laura? Hehehhh.

Ok, here's a picture of liz, chess and I. This is to add some excitement into chess' life when she sees it! Hahaha

It's really blur but I still love this picture. Ok sssshiiinnnyy, have lots of rest and see you soon!! <3

Fikiki: I hope your exams/exam preps are going well! All the best for your papers, Chug on Charlie!! ;)

LAST BLOG ENTRY FOR THE YEAR (:

2005-12-29T04:35:00.000+13:00

I was reading Jaslyn's final entry for the year and I felt inspired to summarise my year like she did, and to thank all the people that made my year the way it turned out to be - ridiculously fantastic. My year was definitely not as adventurous and exciting as Jas', but I think many people deserve to be thanked for their priceless contributions. So here goes (:

Chessy and I left Singapore in the first week of Jan. Although I remember every moment vividly like a sob-scene of a movie playing in my head, the exact date slips my mind. I remember saying goodbye to my grandparents at home. I remember crying as my grandma stopped cooking to hug me and as she did, she said a prayer for me. I remember the horrible dread, like a heavy rock in my heart that just kept sinking and suffocating me. I remember walking up the stairs to my grandad's room trying desperately to stop crying so I wouldn't make him sad. I remember hugging and kissing him and seeing tears spring to his eyes and me quickly turning so I wouldn't cry. Every minute to the airport I was choking back tears like never before. That day was by far the most emotional day of my life. I have never felt so helpless and desperate in my life.

I remember saying goodbye to my family, to amos and to my friends at the airport. I remember the final boarding calls, the uncontrollable tears and the screaming in my head telling me to step away and run as far from the gate as possible. Chessy and I cried and ran to the gate, and as soon as we sat down, the reality of our departure slowly sank in. As the airplane tore away from the ground, the sounds of our choking and tears seemed louder than the engines of the plane. Throughout the 10 hour journey, chessy and I took turns crying and comforting each other, soon we became a bit delirious and happy on the plane. The first stages of denial that we would face as we learnt to live away from home.

That memory has been etched like a burning laser into my heart, and is possibly the most poignant moment of my life. That moment was the key transition from hopeless dependent schoolgirl to independent decisive university student.

This year in NZ has been a series of downs and then gradual ups that have left me beaming with a sense of achievement. The achievement stemming not from the results of my academic year, but from the accomplishment of surviving the year and coming out stronger emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I am blessed to have had most of my family with me studying with me, and for a significant proportion of time, I have had my mother here to be my mentor, driver, best friend - my sanity. Thank you Mum, Jen, and Carol for tolerating a pest in the house.

Without Chessy being here like a siamese twin (cue Gepke), I would not have been able to walk around the halls confidently, laugh and play along the staircases, scare tomu from corners, and use public toilets. Thank you for making up for my weaknesses, and I hope this year has been as momentous a year for year as it has been for me.

Thank you Dad and Co for supporting me from miles away. Thank you for sacrificing time away from Mum so she could come to NZ to be clamoured for attention by me. Co, I trust that next year you will have an equally nurturing experience as I have had, if not better. Despite having to sacrifice many things when it comes to leaving, I promise you that you will not be shortchanged of positive experiences in NZ. You will thrive in the environment here, and flourish in the warmth of your sisters you will have to live with next year.

I have loved and lost, but learnt to love again. Thank you Amos for giving it a shot when it came to a long distance relationship. We tried and we failed, but we learnt at the same time. It is a good feeling to know that you are still friends with an ex and I think it is great that we have not let a good friendship go to waste because of a failed relationship. Thank you for teaching me lessons I could not have learnt otherwise. I wish you a great year next year. Thank you Hans for teaching me how to love again. Thank you for being rock support during my hardest moments, and for being a calming presence when I panicked before English presentations. Thank you for being the best sort of company, and teaching me all these funny chinese words! Thank you for believing in me, and here's to 2006 with you!

I have learnt that if I want to, I can. Thank you laura, fi and all my fantastic friends who have stuck close to me despite the distance. Thank you for the support and words of wisdom imparted over the phone/MSN. Without joint effort, we could have drifted heaps, but we chose to stick close, and it's been wayyy worth it. Raro Lesbiono, Thank you for phone calls at desperate hours, and for being The Ear even at 2am in the morning. Without you, I don't know how I could have made it out smiling (: Even the bestest sort of guy in the world is not good enough for my bestie!

For now, 2005 will soon be over, and I hope 2006 will be one of peace, joy, fun and plenty of laughter. No tears please.

I love you all.

this is the geek speaking

2005-12-19T03:46:00.000+13:00

I have decided that as far as course of studies go, this is how I am going to do it until I next change my mind :)

2006
First year health sciences: study my ass off and try to meet the requirements for Med or Dent

2007
If I get into Med or Dent I will pass out with happiness and then slog my way through Med school or Dent school. If I don't get into either Med or Dent, I shall do a basic science degree like pharmacy or pharmacology in conjunction with a Law Degree, and hope I make it out. Even better do honours year for either/both. But I don't think it's possible.

2017
With a double degree in a science and law under my belt and a history of psychosis, I shall enter a pharmaceutical(or whatever is equivalent to my science degree) company by force and rule their legal team. Sounds good, no?

Otherwise I shall be a low-life basic med/dent scum-student polishing the boots of my seniors trying to scale the ranks of the hospital ladder.

Other otherwise I will be what I've dreamt of doing since I was 3. I shall be the beeep beeep cashier lady who gets to collect money from people at the supermarket. Thereafter I will work my way up and be promoted from cashier to supervisor to branch manager to general manager to OWNER OF COLD STORAGE. good ambition?

I've only just turned seventeen :(

december seventeen

2005-12-18T04:22:00.000+13:00

being home has been a series of dips and peaks. more peaks of course, but the dips have been preeeedy low.

the results are out, the anxiety is over, so that's really good.

i've been home nearly about the length of time I was home last in July, but the amount of things I have gotten done is absolutely nowhere near how much I did then. Knowing that I'm home for agggeeesss this time, I am being absolutely complacent about meeting up and catching up with friends. Some days I'm just too lazy to get out of my pyjamas and I just stay home eating reading sleeping reading eating reading reading in that order. Other days I go out with some friends and completely tire myself out. So if I haven't gone out with you yet, it doesn't mean I've forgotten, it just means I have to get off my arse and get moving. I'm so lazy sometimes. There has to be another alternative to Orchard Road. the crowds now are scary and the more I go out, the more I shop. I thought Syd killed any more itch to shop! Somehow I almost go into shops and manage to find something really really nice, I really don't know how I'm going to lug all this back to NZ =/

This coming week is quite exciting =D My relatives are arriving tomorrow, I have a date with laura and xiao, I have Narnia to watch with ganyang and liz and whoever else, and rellies to go out with, my dad's birthday do, a stayover some time at raro's, and CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! I absolutely can't wait for christmas. I couldn't care about the presents, I'm totally looking forward to the atmosphere, to dressing up and to having fun! =D =D

ok off now!

(: ouy ssim i ,siht ta gnikool era ouy fi sanh

exceedingly bored.

2005-12-10T03:40:00.000+13:00

I miss you, you know that?

I have spent the past two days vegging and it has been good. But tonight, a switch has just been flicked in my brain, and my hyperactive chatterbox personality has just popped out from the crevices of my mind and now I'm exceedingly unimaginably bored. I miss so many things about life in Singapore, including socialising and friends, but now that I'm back home, I do find it hard to go out and immerse myself into social life as if I were never away. Two-thirds of people of friends I don't even know! Why does this have to be so harrrd =/ But I know I must try to go out more and catch up with friends and make new friends of friends of friends.

Oh God give me strengthhh

2005-12-07T23:26:00.000+13:00

In the words of Paul Capsis in Boulevard Delirium Happy Birthday to meee... Happy Birthday to Jo

Hahhahahaa, Chessy, can u imagine me pulling my face sideways as I say it?

Today was really good for a first day back, and for a birthday, it was awesome. No big parties, gathering or dinner, but a few great friends to spend the day with. Thank you raro, liz, kristalle, jeanne and ganyang! for spending the day with me, and all those who wished me happy birthday. Including FIKIKI!!! girl, technically you were the first because your letter was sitting on my bed when I reached home from the airport. MWAH! love you! I expected today to be a lazy day going for lunch, coming home, jumping into my jammies and reading till my eyes bulge. But i ended up spending today in town catching up with friends and having a good time <3

I'm too lazy to blog now, but hopefully I'll have pics of Sydney up soon. Ciao now (:

the touristy side of sydnayyy

2005-12-03T19:06:00.000+13:00

After hard-out shopping for three, four days, relatives finally coaxed us into doing things other than shopping.

On Thurs night we went out for Chinese at Fox Studios, then after that Uncle Tim and Aunty Karen took us round Sydney at night. We went to customs house and from the bar on the top floor we saw a ridiculously good view of Sydney at night. Sea gulls circling above the Opera House and Harbour Bridge looked like fireflies. It was also at the bar I saw for the first time two gay men kiss on the lips. Hahahaa, call me sheltered, but I stood there shell-shocked for a moment before I moved on. They were really hip and trendy yuppies too. haha. After that we walked to the Opera House and had drinks at the open bar. Uncle Tim and Aunty Karen's really good friend who used to run the "hippest club in Aus" now run this other club and we were asked whether we wanted to go. They quickly withdrew their offer when they found out I was underage, but shit man, even I wanted to go. Haha.

Yesterday night we watched Harry Potter at Fox Studios. I know, finally. It couldn't have been better timing though, and I'm so glad we watched it at Fox Studios with their massive screen rather than at some other small cinema.

Tonight we're going to watch this at the Sydney Opera House!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really excited just because it's going to be colourful, noisy, and I have never watched a cabaret before. Another time to dress up and enjoy a really cool night out with family here. (:

Shopping here has been good. If I had wheatgrass shots every morning, I bet I could cover twice of what we covered. The city atmosphere is electric, and with christmas coming, everything, including sales, is twice as good.

Sydney is incredible. I couldn't ask for better family here. They are fun and so happening, I'm so happy here except I could do with seeing my parents and my friends back home. And hans. But moving on, haha, it's such a pity Im going home so soon.

2005-11-30T23:47:00.000+13:00

Sydney so far has been amazing (:

It's been shopping, shopping and more shopping so far, and i'm having so much fun. The shops here are so good, I think the semi-deprivation in NZ is good cos it means you have that much more to spend in Syd. (: Every afternoon I come back exhausted and with a slight headache from all the excitement and i suppose dehydration too. And then we have a little rest, then go out with family for dinner. It's just fantastic, and I think it's the best ever cap to the end of the year. Now I can't wait to go back to Singapore and immerse myself into a life with friends, family and good food :P

I went online to Jetstar Asia many months ago and just went to check fares to TW, and it was only so-so, and I figured that I could save that few hundred and wait till Feb when Hans comes. But today I went online to the site and it is now $88 one way and $132 + tax return and I think I really really want to go. I want to go to TW and see what it's like, I've been to China, and I want to see how different the two places are. I want to see where Hans sort of spent his childhood, and I want to experience all that he tells me about. I saw it as a total sign from God, I mean, it was a fluke that I went online to check the fares on a whim to find the fares slashed for Jan. Mummy mummy mummy, I want to go to TW.

and so it is

2005-11-28T00:25:00.000+13:00

The exams were over and there was no more studying to do, most of my year's text had been recycled and so there was nothing urgent to rid my room of, Hans had left and there was not much to do except to pack my bags to go home. But I didn't feel like it.

So today I opened my first book in many many months, eager to immerse myself into different world away from reality. And the first lines of the first chapter read:

"There is a roar of engines,a moment when gravity pulls me back, and then New Zealand is shed like a skin. It floats mottled green on the Pacific Ocean as I soar towards thesun. When the plane touches down at Sydney Airport, my heart hits the ground with a thump." - Embracing the Dragon

I was like WHOA, that is like the perfect description of me tomorrow. Initially I was going to read it on the plane tmr on the way to Syd, but I think if I started it tmr while flying, I would have been really really thrown off by it's accuracy in relation to my life. I have another book to read and I'm really excited in a supergeek way to immerse myself in book after book over summer, from mysteries to autobiographies to anything! Even the newspaper at home I miss. I have seriously deprived myself of books this year.

So today midday it finally sunk into me that Hans had gone and not trying to sound retarded and mushy, but I seriously felt like I had lost a limb. The past few weeks saw Hans and I functioning as a working pair, complementing each other as we ran errands, studied, and just spent time together. We bickered but it only made us learn to be more aware of the other. Suddenly today I felt slightly lost walking around as time inched forward, but I know that it will only get better from here. It did not help that I felt tired, drained and week from my period and lack of sleep, I felt like chess today. Hahah (:

lazy, bored; a procrastinator at her best

2005-11-27T14:06:00.000+13:00

God has been so good you know, like it's amazing how things have turned out so far, everything's been perfect come to think of it.

---> Hans was given a guinea pig by his flatmate for his birthday in Sept. A classic gift, but also a massive responsibility. We were getting a bit frantic wondering who could take care of it over summer. Nobody wanted it, and with all the hungry neighbourhood cats, we couldn't possibly leave it to fend for himself. So anyway, on the second last day before Hans was to leave, we go to countdown to buy something, then we see this little girl busking with her little black bunny sitting by her feet eating veges. Then I think, maybe she would like a guinea pig to keep her bunny company? So i ask her, she tells me to ask her dad. Before we know it, the next day we've given Hammie to this random family and it's a humongabungus load off our chests.

So Hans has left, I have just about a day to pack everything up ready to go home. I had this list of things to keep me busy, but my period came last night, I'm exhausted, and I'm just lying on my bed with her retarded smile on my face too lazy to think about doing anything. I'm feeling really positive about us being apart for two months. It's only two months after all! =D I am really psyching myself up for a well-deserved one week shopping holiday tmr!!!!!! ok im off <3

grapes for eyes

2005-11-26T09:31:00.000+13:00

saturday morning lying on my bed with my cold feet enjoying the hot air blowing from the heater. i'm waiting for hans to come pick me up so that we can enjoy our last day together before he goes back home and i go back home. Enjoy just being in each other's company and running errands tying loose ends before he goes for summer. Even if it's the most boring errands, I want time to go in slow-motion so that I have just that last day.

it is so ridiculous that I feel so sad thinking about him going when i know that two months will (hopefully) sprint past. I know that this time apart is only going to make us stronger, but I don't want that, I just want to cling onto something that is leaving.

Leaving is what makes it so hard. Once he's gone, and I've coped, things will be sweet, but its the leaving part that I don't want to go through. I don't want him to wake me up at 5am to say goodbye, and me choking in desperation trying to stay positive so he can leave easily yet wanting to do anything to make him stay just that while more. And it's hugely worse when there's an urgency to go. He has a flight to catch, it's the final boarding call like it was for me in January, and there was nothing to do, I just had to run far far away from the people I didn't even want to leave behind.

This is so stupid. I have no coping mechanism for goodbyes. Thank god for external distractions. One day of packing for summer, One whole week of shopping therapy, and hopefully two months of productivity over summer. I need a job, or meaningful work to keep my mind of things.

i think i will miss you

2005-11-25T10:08:00.000+13:00

We all graduated yesterday, and I can't stop smiling for everything that happened yesterday (:
It's university for us all next year, but more importantly, it's another year to spend with these amazing friends I've made.

Here's a few photos of yesterday at grad and at the after party. I'm too lazy to upload the other photos, so it's just (1) hans and I (2) chessy and i (3) maryam and i (4) the lovely middle-eastern girls, chessy and i (5) the three saudi boys in our class

the rest of the photos, some other time.

But for now, bring on Summer. =)

yet another die flies by

2005-11-23T22:59:00.000+13:00

the academic year comes to an end tomorrow for good good good. tmr is our last paper(physics), and then graduation and drinks after.

I have such mixed feelings about the exams ending. Half of me desperately wants the exams to end because it's been nothing but a thorn in my arse, but the other half just wants time to stop because 3 days from now it's byebye to hans for 2 months. i can do it!

it's going to be pretty hard to suddenly go turkey and function without hans around me advising me, scolding me for being fickle, laughing with me, being an absolute retard with chess, and just being my boyfriend. But I think it will be really good for us, absence better make our hearts fonder or i'll kick two months hard in the ass.

So much for being a dry old goat who doesn't like changes. There are going to be SO many events, changes in routine and transitional periods starting from like now.

We have to start packing and tidying up and tying up loose ends to prepare to leave for the summer.
Say goodbye to Hans and try not to panic and associate it with the same 'leaving my boyfriend for what seems like eternity' horrible, sickening, heart-wrenching feelings of January. Just the act of saying goodbye sends me into retard spasms that I have to learn to control! [My good friends you know what i mean] =P
Fly to Sydney and LIVE IT UP for 1 whole freaking weeek!! I am TOO excited for that, and I am blessed to have that wonderful distraction while I adjust to changes
Fly back to Sg on my birthday, meet my lovely friends, and reunite with my bestfriend-mother and see cokefoke and my superpap soon after
Relatives from Sydney bunking in with us a few days after we arrive for a few days
Respite from crazy 2 weeks while I catch my breath and subsequently lose it trying to do an ab-crunch in the gym
Relatives come back from short stint around for a few days
CHRISTMAS!!!
CNY!!!
Other relatives from Sydney coming to bunk with us
A few nothing weeks
HANS LEE!!!!!! and a whole lot of other friends coming to bunk with us, and hopefully a road trip to m'sia with hans and raro (:

Next year when i come back there is

A whole year with hans again (:
a taxing academic year
cokefoke is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and neighbours with 1 set of twins + 1 set of newborn twins = 4 kids under 3.

Life is good! Amen (:

2005-11-18T23:58:00.000+13:00

10 more days till i fly to Sydney, and 8 days in Sydney till I fly back to Singapore.

I feel really = S about going back to Singapore. I guess I'm just not quite looking forward to possible changes I have to face and you know, trying to fit in all over again when you know really that your place isn't just quite there. Plus, I definitely don't think it is fair to expect friends to halt their lives and other friends just to accommodate you and rewind to a year back when we all had the same friends.

I don't know how I'm going to feel leaving Hans for 2half months, but thank God we get to look forward to him coming to Singapore for 5 days on his way back to CHCH, and I'm crossing my fingers somehow (or another) we get to see each other in HK or TW. The longest we've been apart is 2half weeks and that already felt like ages, and the longest I've been apart from any boyfriend is 3+ weeks cos after that we broke up. hahahahaa. But yes, I have bigger faith in this relationship.

Physics exam and Bio exam are left and I think it was so uncool of them to put a week between our first 3 papers and last 2 papers. No doubt it gives extra time to study, but I've totally lost my chug. =/////////////// But yes (mother if you're reading this), I am trying to put in the effort.

Christmas is so on its way (: Chess and I were at this department store and the store was nicely decorated for Christmas and there was Christmas music playing and oh wowww. I can't wait for Sydney and to bask in the nice Christmasy atmosphere there, and go back to Singapore and sort of get mowed down by the throngs of crazy shoppers. I remember Christmas last year, I really like the tree they put up in Taka.

Ok bye.

2005-11-13T00:07:00.000+13:00

Less than a month till I go home; one paper down, four to go. (this is for you chesky)

It was so hard today to switch from a completely math mode which I've been in the past too many days, to a chem mode. All of a sudden I have to change from numbers mode to periodic table of elements mode. Chem is on tuesday, and a day before that, i have to snap very quickly into english-y mode and even more quickly snap out of it. = ( exams are ugly things.

On friday there was a math paper mixup and we ended up not getting Qn 1-3 for the first 20 mins, and we had to work on Qn 7-10 first. It totally messed me up because I had planned very strategically to work back and forth from Qns 1, 10, 2, then 9 and so on, but of course, my plan was nicely flicked out of the window, and I was left without a backup battle plan for my 3h math paper but thank god I made it, with some time to spare. The trick is little or no sugar on the day of exams, and lots of protein to sustain you.

I'm pretty excited to go back to Singapore, but at the same time I'm feeling the same anxiety I felt when I was going to go back in June, but I think this time my anxiety is warranted. They say being in a cold country boosts your body's metabolism, and you lose weight more easily. Load of crap that is! : ( Nothing good comes out of being in a cold country, even your skin dries up all gross when you sit in front of the heater too long. Maybe you don't sweat, but gross man, I think my ducts are all blocked. hahaa cue: chessy gag. Over here the weather is cold, and everyone bundles up, and nobody CARES if you're fat or tubby. You fit in alright, but in Singapore, everyone is all pixie-like and skinny and i cannot take it. I have put on weight and i know it, and i'm scared to go back because even if people don't voice everything out, inside their screaming oh my gawd she is so fat now. gross mannn i don't want to be like her. I hate living in a weight-obsessed world, everywhere I go someone is worried about his/her weight and after a while their concerns and anxieties rub off onto you. Come to think of it, my home is like this place where people compare weights and body sizes and shit it's disgusting. I hate it too when people deny that they don't eat enough and prance around gloating about their weight knowing that you're at least a billion kilos heavier. I'm damn jealous. I never used to be this concerned about my weight, but after being surrounded by weight-obsessed people, the plague has finally reached me, and every time i look into the mirror I see this wide-faced person with unnecessary flab on her limbs. Too bad I love my food too much.

I don't want to go back to Singapore to face the scrutiny of criticising eyes, materialism, bitchiness, and the (i never thought I would say this, but yes) food.

I miss being excited to see someone special come online I get to chat with. Strangely, it's been a long time.

here's to 2005 chess (:

2005-11-05T00:25:00.000+13:00

This is it.

Today was officially the last teaching day of the year, and foundation year 2005 has come to a close, all that is left is a string of exams, a graduation ceremony and off we go back to Sg through Syd.

Chessy and I always look back and recall the night we left Singapore in tears on the first week of Jan. I still remember it so clearly as if it was just yesterday. I remember the heartache, the tears that I thought would never stop coming, the desperation I felt at the counter when I looked back through the glass windows and saw all my loved ones behind, and the sinking feeling knowing that everything would change then on. I remember crying my eyes out on the airplane, and also the subsequent heartaches I felt missing people and getting used to changes. I left an incredibly naive jo, full of dreams and hope, I kept telling myself, 6 years (till I get my degree) will pass in no time. I now know I had not yet lived.

This year was initially tumultuous emotionally, but something I guess we all have to go through. But without a doubt, so far 2005 has definitely been an incredible learning journey for me. With every shitdip comes a nice bright rainbow and mine definitely came. I got to know this amazing person and yes I'll stop now.

I am and have been SO SO blessed to have had chessy with me, but to my friends who have to go to a new place without a companion from home: don't fret because there are pros and cons to every situation, and no matter what, there are always new friends to make, it's whether you're prepared to go out there and make some. So anyway, this year has been incredible. Coming from MGS where everything (im sorry) was anal and rigid, FY is like whoaa, big difference. Admittedly, my first 10 years of schooling in MGS was definitely enormously beneficial, and not only did I learn lots like discipline and learning to dodge trouble(both within the classroom and out), they sure as heck instilled the fear of teachers in you. You know, sometimes I still get panic attacks when I don't do something and I go shit shit, the teacher is going to come and check our work and stone us to death, then I realise I'm in a completely different learning environment where teachers are your friends, not your whatever they are in Sgp. In Sg teachers are like a different level, more superior, high up and mighty whereas here, teachers mess around with you and joke about other teachers with you.

The other day Chess asked me "If you had the chance to go back to Mg and live it all again, would you?" And my answer to that is "Mg sure as anything was amazing cos that's where I made my best friends and so on, but if I were to go back after this year and all I've experienced, the answer is No." I've been opened up to a world where independence and self-reliance is key, and where you are responsible for everything. I don't know, I can't express it accurately, and I know I make MG sound like prison, the thing is, you only get it once you start uni or poly. But one thing I do miss is like chillout times where everyone is stuck in one place and has nothing to do and you just hang around, talk and bond, cos you don't rlly get it here.

I cannot believe that after all the tears, heartache and pain from leaving Sg in jan that still causes unexplainable grief to me when I think back and imagine it again, the reason why we even came here - the purpose - has been FUFILLED. we came here for FY, and FY is soon over.

Back on Dec7, and I am afraid I won't be able to fill up 2.5 months fruitfully. Hopefully nice things will crop up, and I'm really looking forward to my super nice summer with friends(!!!) under the sun.

I was going to put photos up, but they disappeared. Another time.

many failed attempts and i've given up

2005-11-03T22:46:00.000+13:00

spurred on by nice thoughts and the urge to write nonsense, i planned to write a nice long entry about my thoughts and stuff. but after many failed attempts, including the internet being down, then blogger being down etc, i've given up for the day.

Hold on to your knickers folks, this next entry might just come soon. I promise excellent footage if chessy permits (this is your cue now to bombard chess till she gives in), and hopefully something intelligible.

For now I bid goodbye my fairrr friends. I have a stupid 2.5hr chem practice exam tmr. But even more stupid is how excited I am for it. I have been transformed into a geek.

PS darlings who have been faithfully tagging my blog, I LOVE YOU! (:

2005-10-24T23:10:00.000+13:00

i reckon i'm meant to put on a heck load of weight, be chubby and really happy, like the cook in gilmore girls.

before i came here, i saw no reason to cook (grandma makes ridiculously scrumptious food, and my maid is really good at cooking too). So i came here, banged around in the kitchen uselessly and my best meal was korean instant noodles made in the microwave. Since coming, I've burned food, completely charred a pot beyond recognition, spilt lots of sauces on the stove, and so on, but over the past few months, especially since picking up skill from Hans, I think i've definitely improved on my cooking (although there is still heaps more to learn to cook.)

I'm really pleased with myself, and as of late, I've found that cooking actually makes me feel accomplished and happy. When I feel bored, down or grouchy, I make something. The only problem is that every cook has to test her food and that's where everything goes downhill. HAHAHAHAHHAA. I'm thinking of cookie dough ice cream but that would be uberrr fattening.

The other day I made biscotti and now I'm trying to get people to finish it so I can make coffee biscotti, and tonight hans and i made cereal bars which is yuuumm.

I should seriously stop thinking about food. It gets me nowhere except to the kitchen. This is what happens when you leave sg, nowhere to satisfy insatiable cravings, and all you end up doing is constantly thinking about food.

i miss indian food at the super oily zamzam, peranakan food at hotel negara i think, super good chicken rice from wherever, nice nice roti prata with super curry, chwee kueh, tao hway, chai tao kuay, chicken hor fun i should just shut up now. i have been reduced into a useless salivating idiot

photos

2005-10-24T10:19:00.000+13:00

As always, the wise eddie with profoundly true words. eddie if you're reading this, I miss you!

i've learned that just because 2 people argue, it doesn't mean that they dont love each other. and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean that they do.

i've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

i've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. the same goes for true love.

So anyway, today is labour day, no school but plenty work to do =/

photos from this week

red-yellow tulips in the garden

the inside of the tulip at the front door

chess, carol and I when we were having apple pie on the deck

matriarch and her other half at starbucks last night, we were just about to burst into fits of laughter with chess and carol already snorting with laughter opposite us.

the back deck with a bucket of lavenders in an ugly pail

that's all for now (:

2005-10-22T00:16:00.000+13:00

Not much has been happened since I last blogged, well, nothing significant at least. Life is goooot.

Dad being here for a week has definitely been fantastic. So much fun to have him around and next year when Co comes, it will be even more exciting! Miss you Co..

School had a pool competition today that was pretty cool, I think I will definitely miss school when it ends. Already I think next week is either the last official teaching week or the second last, and after that, no more HS-A. Everyone is too caught up trying to revise for the exams that realising that we won't be a class anymore after this isn't much. It's not like Sg when there's post-exam nonsense, over here, exam over, fly home!

Fifi my charmer, =D your email is on the tip on my fingers (: hahaha, I wanted to do it tonight, but I'm about to fall asleep and figured I wouldn't be able to write all I wanted so I figured I would blog instead.

Long weekend now so it is 3 days of decent studying for me, I hope. Dad leaves on Monday, but it's not too bad cos the whole family gets to be together in slightly over a month! Very very exciting thought!

I'll be back in Sg from Dec 7 right up to Mid-feb and I really don't know whether I want to get an interesting job or commit myself to some other form of work, or just veg and tai-tai with carol and mum. It's so disheartening thinking of getting a job in Sg where the minimum wage is PATHETIC. Minimum wage here is over $10 which is nearly double. hiyarrrrrrrr.

Hans and I are going to be in seperate countries for 2.5 months, and the last time it was 2.5 weeks. He's going to be working and I guess I want to keep busy too. But in Dec there's my birthday, Christmas, and family from Oz coming, and in Jan, there's CNY, so it's really neither here nor there. I just feel like such a wastrel though if I were to just tai-tai around and not do something productive with my time.

OHHHHhhh, the other day I went running!! Hahahaa, and it's a big deal because many many months ago when I last intended to run with chess after school, I made it down the driveway and slipped into the neighbours house because it was too cold and I was being lazy. Chess went to run though. And since then she has been running pretty consistently while I stay in my room to flag her off, and come out of my room to occassionally greet her at the door if she's lucky. We ran a not-bad distance (in my opinion), and not being very used to exercising in the cold, thin air here, I felt like my lungs were filling up with liquid and my chest tightening. Yuck, it's not so bad in the gym though when it is slightly warmer. So yes, now I feel a comfortable tightness in my thighs from running because I did not stretch after coming back. Thankyoop chesky for running with me and being an excellent running partner. Chessy does not complain and jogs quietly while I pant, wheeze, dribble and stumble beside her. Her music even died halfway. Yes, kowtow to chessy now, the quiet worker. AHAHHAHAHAHAAA.

It's slightly past my ridiculously-early bedtime and my brain is clouding over (if there's such a word).

Here's a platitude for you: have a good day (sucker) HAHAHAHAHHAAAA ok i should just shuddup and go to sleep.

2005-10-19T08:55:00.000+13:00

tis strange

i lay in bed last night pondering something strange.

you would think that unless that person has done something particularly horrible against you, you wouldnt attempt to burn a bridge that could one day be instrumental towards the making of something bigger BETTER and nicer. reinforce the bridge/medium/whatever, not burn it!!! hahhahaaa. hheheheheeeeeeee don't kill me when you read this, I know you know who I'm talking about.

on a seperate note, 5 ducklings from the 6 that we saw the other day died the next day when they fell into a man-hole and their mother couldn't retrieve them.

sunny sundays <3

2005-10-16T22:18:00.000+13:00

today was better than perfect, it was incredible.

Dad arrived today and he definitely brought sunshine from singapore, it was so hot everywhere! =D When dad comes everyone benefits!

Carol got her new computer; Chess can now access the internet in her room because the modem got extended; Jen got some gadget to backup her comp files and a doctor to help her pass her med exams; Mum got her husband and a whole lot of other stuff; Hans got his zen from Sgp; and I got the perfect Sunday!!

Chess and I took advantage of the sun and went for a quick walk round the neighbourhood, and on the way back up the drive we noticed commotion and mum was like "quick!! there's a duck and her ducklings in the garage!!" At that time before us, our neighbours, their friends and their kids came up to see Hans' guinea pig, and they got to see a duck and her ducklings too! Somehow the mother-duck must have lost her way, and her 6 little ducklings just followed. Pictures soon (:

The weekend flashed by as fast as it took the come. Now it's back to the daily grind =///

ruth and sara

2005-10-09T17:10:00.000+13:00

pictures from babysitting on saturday

of burning thighs and bruised crotches

2005-10-06T20:14:00.000+13:00

hi babies we're back from our bike trip! :P we did two parts of the rail trail with 9 other schoolmates and 3 staff member's kids. it was fuuuunnn (:

it was all off-road which meant no vehicles, but lots of gravel and small rocks to cycle on which made it pretty hard when you were tired! if you know me well enough, you'll know that when i walk in a group, i can't walk straight, and i just found out it's exactly the same when i'm cycling. so i spent a total of 55km (32 of the first day; 23 on the second day) swerving left and right like some retard and cycling off the path which made it even harder for myself.

the first day was crazy hard! for chess it was like cruising along East Coast Park, but for me my thighs started burning like crazy and it wouldn't let. my muscles got tighter and tighter and burned fiercer and fiercer. =/ but i pushed and finished it, going through tunnels was like my saviour cos it meant i could dismount and walk! it was really awesome. most of the time chess, hans, ringo and i cycled quite close together and the scenery was amazing. we stopped often to take pictures and climb rocks and wow, i think i might want to do it again! the weather was horrible though and we had gale-force winds in our face throwing us off course, and rain and damn it was cold! thank you chess for cycling beside me though i think you could have covered twice the distance with your energy! and thank you hans for giving me that little push :)

the second day felt more like a ride along ECP! it was 23km which was much easier to complete and we went through two tunnels and it was a very slight slope which meant less peddling! we climbed rock faces and the view was incredible! we also cycled on bridges that were 300m above the water. on the last leg, there was a stupid magpie that started swooping at hans and pecking his helmet. 6 times! chess and i were screaming with laughter and trying to peddle as fast as we could to avoid being pecked at. hilarious.

another real problem i had was crossing these skinny bridges on my bike that had an inch room both ways. dismounting would be too troublesome cos getting back on would be too painful for my bruised bum. read threemen for chess' account of my fall from grace after an attempt to cross one of those bridges.

chess and i shared a room and i punched her in the face at night. i remember my arm falling onto her face from above and her shouting Ouch! but that's all i remember. hahahahaa.

well, pictures will be uploaded soon!

martha and arthur stewart (:

2005-10-04T00:01:00.000+13:00

it's the holidays for a week and damn i'm loving it (: i'm trying to strike a good balance between spending time with hans and studying effectively. it is sad to think that this is the last holiday break we're going to get in Foundation, and following this, it's full-on work leading to our exams =/ yikes. Hans and I will both be caught up with work and before we know it, it'll be exams, and after exams, we're both leaving to go back home for 2half months. it's shopping for a week in sydney with chess, carol and carol's friend, then zzoooomm back to singapore landing on my birthday (: life is sweet!

1) daylight savings started on sunday and i'm still experiencing a lag. i sleep slightly later and i've bee struggling to wake up. the good thing though is having the daylight for more hours in the day. so darlings, nz is now 5h ahead of sg.

2) got some sort of food poisoning during the day and it was downright gross. thank god i did not throw up (i was praying really hard i wouldnt) and now i don't think i want to eat zero-calorie glass noodles anymore. i feel heaps better now, i really hate nausea and queasiness. =/

3) hans came up after dinner and we became martha and arthur stewart (: i really enjoy cooking and baking with him. when it comes to cooking, i come up with the ideas but he provides the technical skills, and when it comes to baking, he provides the art-sy talent. so today we made chocolate brownie that was rlly yummy, and an untouched lemon custard tart with candied lemon slices in the oven for breakfast/tea tmr. took rlly long to make but it is always fun!

we're going to collect our rented bikes for our bike trip on wed/thur and i'm pretty excited. we're cycling 30-40km each day on wed/thur to central otago, and we get to take this really scenic train route back. plus at the farmstay there's kayaks and all sort of activities and hopefully i can get chesky to do some stuff with me!

here's hoping that i get heaps of work done this week, and also plenty quality time with hans and my family. Oh i love holidays =)

willowbank mich: all the best for your exams! study hard then enjoy your time in sg with lots of shopping!! =D take care XOXO :D

raro: GIRLLLL! ehehehhee, you're probably not going to read this for awhile with your promos now, but i get such a high talking to you each time that we must do it again soon! all the best for promos and remember everything i said during the last chat! ;) 071205 muah!

co: trust me cokefoke, you're going to find yourself having heaps and heaps of fun, and sure you're going to get occasional pangs when u miss your friends, but don't worry, you'll find friends here too, and the best part will be having friends from all over the world here, and all your cool friends in sg too! loveyou!

xiaoen: hey xiaozers! all the best for your promos ok? you can do it! you've studied well and hard and you deserve your good marks.. take care and i'll talk to you soon k? see you in sg in dec! XOXO

nettos: heya, it's awesome how we (and lots of others) have this thing that can never been taken from us, and that is the memories of the years in mg. it was great having you in my class for two whole years and yeah, treasure your time spent in AC cos it'll become as memorable as your time was in mg. but for now, concentrate on your promos! take care and all the best ;) XOXO

balances

2005-09-29T18:50:00.001+12:00

I just readed nettos blog and I really miss my friends in Sg now. Chickies, I miss you guys (:

It's been nearly 9 or so months and I think coming here to study, and hanging around friends a few years older than I has really changed me tremendously. I have made new friends, but I really do miss my friends in back home(+ one straggler in UK!!). I miss the girly times and maybe I do miss some of the gossip and scandal =P but not so much of that. I just really miss my girlfriends. I just spoke to laura on the phone today and I realised how uncomplicated things are here and I guess it's something I really appreciate. Like less gossip, scandal and hoo-has, but I guess it's also cos things maybe are a little less tight-knit.

I just miss being in an all-girls school and being surrounded by all your girlfriends. I don't know. It's pretty hard to constantly stay in contact and update each other on the comings and goings, but I think raro and I do a pretty good job. I really appreciate her effort, and it means heaps to me. I think you just have to pretty much accept that while you can chat with your friends occasionally, you will never know everything about what goes on like last time, and if you tried too hard, you'd just miss home more. but like with liz, we don't talk often, and i hardly know what she's up to, and nor does she, but i guess each time we talk we know we can count on each other for anything, and she is a pretty awesome pal. The rest of my girlfriends, im just looking forward to going home and just slacking around and catching up (:

The exams are 6 weeks away and it's time to put my head down and study for these big ones. I find it really annoying having to find balances between work and play and now that the exams are near, i have to study more. Studying more means less time running around and doing fun stuff with hans, and I really enjoy my time with hans just cos we don't get much time during the weekdays. aiyaaaaaaaaaaaaa, this is a thorn in my arse. and when the exams are over, he'll be all packed up ready to go :( and then sighhhhhhh.

I wish everything went MY way sometimes.

balances

2005-09-29T18:50:00.000+12:00

oh the woes of a 16 year old.

2005-09-26T16:35:00.000+12:00

i just got my UMAT results which are highly unsatisfactory, and i think i'm going to try and prepare more for it and give it another go next year. afterall i do have one more year to go before i need it. however, the umat really tests on things you really can't do much about. Im completely hopeless at shapes and patterns and i FLUNKED it so badly. so i guess it's like math, practise till you can see a formula instantly when you can see the question, maybe that will work. i have to make sure that when i do it the second time, i do better than my first or else i'm dead. it seems they take the most recent score so if by some unfortunate chance i'm really sick and gross when i have to do my UMAT, i might as well come back to sg and train to be a dishwasher.

i came online and had a look at courses here at Otago and i think practically speaking, it is better for me to be a dentist. I think my interest lies in medicine, and i'm sure the profession is extremely rewarding, but the problem is that every medgrad these days insists on specialising, even something as retarded(from an uneducated viewpoint) as family medicine, which means that if you don't specialise, how promising will your future look? sure, I could go to a developing country and work and definitely be appreciated, but this is where my other dilemma lies - i want to be successful, married and with kids at a decent age. but then again, this is superficial me speaking, and who knows what god has planned for me. maybe i am meant to be a spinster with lots of little foster kids and no husbands, but nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo, as far as my perfect fairytale goes, I want to be successful with a not-too-demanding career, have a husband and kids when im about 26 or 27. is that even possible nowadays?

i'm terrified that 15 years down the road, lonely and in my knitted cardigan, i re-read this blog (as it will surely still exist should i be in that pathetic state), and grimace at how spastically naiive i was then (which is now). caught up pursuing my dreams, money and a career, and shunning other important things, i end up successful but completely alone. no i don't want that.

if i take on dentistry, and i pass it, i will be able to have a stable 9-5 job, and hopefully a family to go back to at nights. if i take on medicine, and stay sane to graduate, i will have a demanding call schedule and more work to specialise, how then am i able to have a family(if i find a guy)??

oh dear, i'm only 16 and i have so much to consider already. i second chessy's 'why why why must we have to make such big decisions when we're only 16' moans. this is hard, and i don't want to make a decision i might regret the rest of my life!

on another note, i came online and i saw summer school schedules, and may i dare say that i am tempted to take on some classes! if i do, that means i will come back in jan and study for 6 weeks and then start my first year of uni. will i burn out though? but there are so many nice-looking classes like introduction to latin (3 semesters and i would have 'covered the whole latin grammar') and conversational maori and first year economics and all sort of other things!!! however, that means much less time in singapore with family and friends. i dont knowwwwww, but maybe not 2006, maybe i will gun for 2007 summer school if i am not already worn out and tattered by attempt at getting into dent in my first year of health sci

=( =( =( i think i've rambled enough. good job if you read this entire entry

a week and a day=P

2005-09-24T16:42:00.000+12:00

i have been too lazy to blog, when that happens, you know my life is really good and i'm just cruising along enjoying every moment..

this week has just been spent doing my long essay, or attempting to do it. well, after about $7 of printouts and hours on the comp, i've finally churned out a 1500+ word essay. It's not hard writing the essay, it's finding the references and fitting it into the essay that is annoying. and what's even worse is writing out the bibliography using the Harvard style guide. can vomit blood i tell you.

i got my progress report and it is as unflattering as wearing tight polka dotted lycra pants with a fat bum. if that makes any sense. hiyar, thank god it doesnt count for anything in my final GPA, and i shouldnt get too caught up with it considering they judge you with only one test. =/

exams in about 8 weeks, and i really have to work hard towards it. after that i'm done and hopefully all set to enter uni next year.

was just talking to raro on the phone the other day and i was just lamenting how differently i spend my weekends here compared to how i would spend it in singapore. over here i run around doing errands and babysitting and all sorts, and in singapore, i would probably mooch around and sleep in and go into town. well today was no different. I've learnt that the earlier i wake up on a saturday morning, the more i can do, and that is what i do now (:

mum came in this morning to wake me up and i pretended to be asleep and just when she was about to shake me awake i sat up and BOO-ed her. it was rlly funny, and set my morning straight. hahahaa. we spent the morning moving the last bits of kaka over, arranging stuff, we went to tip odds and ends in the landfill and then came home and mum and hans helped me rearrange my room for better fengshui! hahaha after that hans and i threw stuff together and ate lunch with mum and then i went for babysitting. i'm back, with my clothes dirty with tears, drool, chalk, and soggy biscuit crumbs. hahahaa, im always thankful i remember to wear my dirtiest clothes to babysit.

before i forget, get well soon kristall-o! take care and drink lots of water!! <3

fifi: hope you're doing well, take care and keep warm! love love!!

2005-09-16T21:31:00.000+12:00

today chess and i had a girl day. we had school and during lunch we walked into town where chess went absolutely crazy at Arthur Barnett's where they are having a 50% discount off all John Sands greeting cards, and i went only mildly crazy for two reasons. some of the cards were pretty nice, but i was mostly kicking myself for buying two cards the night before, for an amount that bought me 6 cards today. but all the cards are different, the two cards last night are extra special and definitely worth it. i now really understand what chessy means when she says its so nice to be able to bless people and do a little something just to make them smile. so with all the pretty colours and some glitter, chessy was chessy and went berserk. haha

we came back and cleaned the house, then jen+carol went out, and chess and i spent time mooching in front of our comps before i went up and made us our first successful dinner (: instant pasta for the english rose and instant porridge for the samsui woman. i am quite tired now, but felt like blogging.

mum comes back tmr, and i am very very excited - beyond excited - but at the same time sad that she has to leave sg. but when we next go back to sg, it will be so much fun with all of us home with the rellies from sydney, like i told co, it will be like a party everyday!=D at the same time again, hans' mother and gma leave tmr morning. they've been here for the week and it was so nice to get to meet them. they are the loveliest and his gma is really cute. it's quite crazy with his family's departure and my mother's arrival. always someone extra super around (:

after picking mum up tmr, chess and i will rush to waverley where i'll babysit the girls, and chess will tutor peter.

Sometime this weekend, in order of importance, i have to 1) spend time with my mum 2) spend time with my boyfriend 3) do my long essay 4) do some chem 5) help clean the interior of hans' car 6) build a guinea pig run for hans' pet. well, (5) and (6) sort of equals to (2). ok, with my busy busy weekend in mind, i think i will sleep early tonight and recharge.

co, this is for you:
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22

love <3

just a little update on my life

2005-09-15T21:26:00.000+12:00

the exams are nearing and over the past few weeks many friends have been hurriedly booking flights home to fly off immediately after graduation. i think the coolest thing about coming from singapore is how it is like a global stopover point for many long-haul flights. the doubly cooler thing(if there is such a word) is having many friends from everywhere like from canada all the way to saudi arabia which means that wherever i may choose to go for a holiday, im nearly 90% bound to know someone living there who can take me around.

i really like my school. i hardly say this, but i really love the system i'm in now. i really appreciate my teachers who actually have a passion for teaching and who sacrifice so much time and effort to make the subject they teach interesting. these teachers are dedicated and would walk over broken glass (quote R Tapper, our chem teacher) to help us score well for the finals. these teachers are funny, and don't scold you for being stupid. they know how to joke and kid around, and teachers always make fun of other teachers in class. i love the independence they give you here. i love being able to walk to town with chessy during lunch when we feel like it, or going to the library to watch videos. i love being able to check my phone in class, and wearing slippers on a hot day.

i told chess today that if she leaves next year for a different country, i hope she'll look back and really miss all that we've enjoyed this year, cos if she goes, i'll miss her. i'll miss having someone get scared with me in the middle of the night, and i'll miss opening the tv room and seeing a hunched figure peering over her spectacles at the tv while knitting, with her lousy computer at her feet. ill miss sitting beside a sleeping figure in the common room, and i'll miss seeing the hair straightener on our toilet window ledge. nobody is as considerate as chessy, she wipes the seat to my satisfaction, and knows what i'm scared of and makes sure i'm not scared. CHESSY IS THE BEST!

and now something ive been meaning to do since forever:

raro: girl i miss you too! we've both been so busy, but i promise we will catch up really soon. i bought something for you today! take care and study hard and all the best for your promos! MWAH! love ya!

kristalle: i hope you are well, and study hard for promos ok? and enjoy your time with kenji (: he sounds super lovely (: XOXOOXOX

eddie: honey!!! how are you? hope HC is treating you well! everytime i think of seaweed chicken, i think of you (: take care girl XOXOX

willowbank mich: i want to retire as secretary, and promote myself to president. do you want to be my sec then? =D

mel: hans is chinese, yup. hahahaa. all the best for your promos! XOOXOX

some photos over the weekend

2005-09-12T16:44:00.000+12:00

happy birthdayyyy (:(:(:

where's sara???? THERE she is!

check out her crazily blue eyes

sarah's cross face when you say no to her. haha

2 1/2yr old ruth with equally pretty blue eyes.

2005-09-11T23:24:00.000+12:00

tonight in church the guy speaking said something that really struck me and that is temptation is opportunity to do good. i dont know if it makes sense to you now, but it really made sense to me tonight. we shouldn't concentrate on the bait that tempts us, but look at the hook!

if i sleep now, i will get exactly 8 hours of sleep and that will be the perfect way to start the perfect morning to what i hope will be the perfect week.

7:59 hours and counting! byeeeeeeeeeee! =D

"i smeeell sausages" -chessy

2005-09-08T17:00:00.000+12:00

the past few days have been very eventful and i don't even know where to begin. ok, i shall start with something i am most sorry for.

yesterday morning i was warming soup on the stove for breakfast, and after it was done, i turned the knob of the stove, and went to eat my noodle soup for breakfast. after that i quickly washed the breakfast dishes before scurrying downstairs to get my school stuff and head of to school. all of us went down together yesterday, and we were only going to get back after 5.

my carelessess (although i thought i was very careful) led to me not actually switching the fire off, but only turning it down. i was so stupid, and if i ever do it again, i will kill myself. so the fire was left on low the entire day with the pot of leftover gravy/soup slowly burning and charring. when we got back about 6, carol smelt something burning, and when we went up to investigate, we saw a really black pot sitting on the stove in a room smelling of very badly burnt toast.

THANK GOD that nothing caught fire, THANK GOD that the fire did not go out, THANK GOD that nothing happened. THANK GOD THANK GOD.

i promise not to be so stupid and careless next time.

now all the windows in the house are open, the fan is going and im hoping the smell will go away soon.

my period is coming and i am so tired all the time. i spent my day hallucinating about doing anything (even being admitted to hospital) so that i can get a bed to lie down and sleep on. but now that im home, im not super sleepy anymore! but i will nap a bit later so that i can get up and do work after that.

got a text from ATS today saying that ruth and sarah have got chicken pox, and if we have had it already. we have so i guess we will be babysitting a spotty baby and toddler. i hope they're not grouchy.

a post in defence

2005-09-05T00:57:00.000+12:00

froh0093 has just written a mean post about me, and this is my attack back. i do not take things lying down. hahahahaa.

"jo was sitting with the waist band of her velvet pants around chest level hunched over their toy piano with a sing along songbook attached, sort of stabbing at the wrong notes to the song with this completely blank expression on her face." and "when sarah was staggering towards jo-she's only able to walk a few steps on her own, with her arms held out. and jo leant forward suddenly so sarah just flopped prone across jo's back and onto the floor." (threemen, 2004, Internet)

there isn't waist band on my velour pants because these are cool trackpants, hahaha it has a hipband.

i was hunched over, though i like to say leaning forward only because the stupid numbers (there are numbers on the words which correspond with numbers on the baby keyboard ie. you see 1 your press 1) were too small. this is how toddlers go blind. being completely useless and incompetent in music, i thought i found the answer to my lack of talent. maybe if i use permanent ink and write numbers on our piano keys, then write corresponding numbers on the music book, then i can make all the money spent on numerous music lessons worth it. hha.

i didn't see sarah leaning on my back nor did i feel her tiny hands on my back. hahaha though i do feel bad that i lean forward, feel something heavy on my back, turn around and see her face down on the floor. thank goodness it wasn't anything big and she didn't even cry. i think she was too tired.

thank god for chessy, or i would have died of exhaustion from babysitting. my black jacket is now in the wash after a soak in drool, mashed bananas and soggy biscuit crumbs. YUMMY CHESSY! =D

first day of spring..

2005-09-02T01:13:00.000+12:00

..and i hope it lasts...

we had perfect weather today, the air was warm, and there was some sunshine. even at night after dinner the air was really warm and i only needed two relatively thin layers. i hope the weather stays this way..

i didn't realise Hurricane Katrina was so devastating and i didn't realise what a huge tragedy this is. i admit being very very sheltered here, i haven't caught the news in days, and i don't read the papers so the only news i got of it was on the radio in the mornings in my three-quarter-groggy state. nothing registered obviously. i hope the victims get their lives back together really soon...

we have a cordless phone set here that i have been using (but only the main one) , and the complement set has been sitting on my floor because i had no clue how to synchronise the two sets. so its been a few months and finally mum in singapore emails to say she's found the instruction manual. i couldn't wait and asked co to scan me the relevant pages. it took me FOREVER to understand the instructions and after a long long time, it is now all set up! thanks to co! now the chesky handset is in chessy's room and we can make like internal calls to each other anytime! hohoho, the possibilities all this holds. =D

i can't wait for the weekend, seriously. only two hours of lectures tmr and im (sort of)free for the weekend. i have to get moving on my long essay, practise and perfect the presentation for my seminar, get as much chem as i can done, and revise for math test next week. oh Lord give me strength.

Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

the met service guy is highly unreliable

2005-08-31T21:59:00.000+12:00

the weather man yesterday said that the forecast today is "fine, with a high of 16deg"

much to our glee and delight we whipped out skimpy tops and thin jackets to match and skipped (not literally) to school. the day was windy as anything, admittedly there was some sunshine but come on! nothing near 16deg! we had to walk home today and i stupidly fell sucker to the nice ice cream at the dairy. i got a mocha almond cone which no doubt has fallen straight to my hips, but that's another story...

the first time i walked home with chess it took retardedly long - 1h40 mins to be exact. today somehow we must have gotten some tailwind and supersonic legs cos it took us just about an 1h. i don't think i could have been able to bear the cold any longer. as we walked home, i could feel my hands getting increasingly numb and my fingers red but my palms pale, of course the ice cream didnt help, but yeah. ahhaaa. and it got to the point where chess and i couldnt tell whether our noses were dripping or not. but don't worry, we are not so disgusting, we did not allow our noses to drip.

ok that's it. im tired. laters darlings. (:

2005-08-30T22:18:00.000+12:00

"im scared i don't lose my pregnancy weight..." chesky 1.45pm, math lect at burns.

that completely came out of the blue and sometimes you wonder what goes on in her head! =D

<3 chessy
this entry is dedicated to you. (: sometimes i wonder how chessy stands my nonsense, esp during math tutorials.

this is the geek speaking

2005-08-29T09:20:00.000+12:00

i've just learnt that for library books online i can change my funny internet settings so i can sign in through the uni outside the uni. which means that for some books i dont have to be in the library to do research! =D this makes things so much easier cos ive always fancied staying under the duvet doing work. this definitely makes waking up an hour earlier than i actually have to worth it! =D ok i should shut up now. off to school nowwwwww, then to unipol to workout, then home (:

sunday morning and hellos (:

2005-08-28T23:17:00.000+12:00

back from my deadman status. went for the all blacks vs south africa tri-nations match last night at carisbrook and it was amazing. the atmosphere was electric and we got to watch the new haka live too. it was rlly cool cos suddenly all these burly men who probably never sung the anthem once during their schooldays suddenly belt out the anthem with gusto with a can of beer in one hand (:

chess and i babysat the kids+1 cousin on sat and it was much more enjoyable than last saturday! 15mths, 2.5 yrs and 4 yrs is quite an okay combo, haha. it is much easier to have one of us taking care of the baby and another one of us playing with the two girls. we went to the playground, played obstacle courses, read stories, and had afternoon tea in the garden - it was perfect weather for play. oh and i changed my first dirty diaper and it blew me away, literally. u just try not to breathe! but it was ok cos at least she was cooperative and not squirming and crying, but it makes me consider how many kids i want next time....

here's hellos...

fifi: girl, enjoy your last week in singapore, eat like you've never eaten! and of course enjoy the friends(: love u!

cryssy: your tag(s) definitely made my eyes go wide! hahahaa =D when i go back let's go swimming lots ok? till then study hard and enjoy your coming hols (:

mich: i'm not sure which mich this is, but im assuming its the willowbank one! =D i hope you liked dinner and the cheese cake was super yummy (: come again! ahhahahaa

raro: DARLING! =D all the best for your coming promos k girl? i know u can do it (: and wait for me till dec and we'll have heaps of time to play! miss u and stay the raro i left behind (: MWAH! XOXOXO kisses!

mel: hello mel... that is hans (: god-sent hans.... (: hope you're well! take care =D

bev: hey bev, hope you're well, and thanks for your compliment! tk care and enjoy your time in AC (:

lizzydizzy/jane maurice/pumba/and everything else: miss u girl and hope you're well, take care ok? and don't play too much, do well for your promos and take care! XOXOXO

shumintoes: that's my new name for you (: hope your prelims went well and take care and stay strong and smiley ok? back in dec and then we will REALLY hang out when your exams are done (: XXXX

im smiling as i type these hellos cos i really miss my friends. im so blessed to be here but still have friends back home (: love u guys!

2005-08-21T02:16:00.000+12:00

i babysat two little girls (2half and 15mths) this afternoon and it was quite traumatic cos stupidly we went to the playground and i managed to lock us out. so we had to sit on the doorstep till the parents came back and i had two girls in my lap and i sang.......for an hour. i was so scared they were too cold(thank god i bundled them up well) or they got bored/scared/uneasy and started crying for mummy or daddy. so i sang and sang and sang(definitely out of tune as i got increasingly despondent) and now i dont ever want to feel like a homeless mother again. i feel horrible that the kids got locked out cos of me. plus it was freezing with the wind and i dont think they knew what was going on except that they were sitting on their doorstep but not going in.

on a brighter note, their mother is deaf and pretty much mute and because she has to take care of her kids and because of her handicap she can't go out on her own. so today was the first time in a rlly long time she's been out, having not been out alone with her husband and without the kids for an even longer time. i think seeing the delight on her face and relaxed smile after coming home was sort of worth it. but i just hope the kids aren't traumatised or likely to fall ill. and when i babysit them next week again, i hope they dont remember me and let me start from scratch again. hahaa. =///////

i'm exhausted and my arm is absolutely aching from carrying the baby. nighttttt

2005-08-19T00:54:00.000+12:00

are you the monkey? =D

i have been a bum, i haven't update in a while, and the only reason i'm updating now is cos im waiting for a monkey to come online and i'm trying to stay awake.

the queenstown ski trip was amazing yet brutally painful. haha i went snowboarding and i'm glad i did it once - but never again. i'm glad i did it so i can say ive done it, but next time i'll go skiing cos im a whole lot more effectively mobile that way. more time enjoying the thrill of the slopes and less time on your arse breaking out in cold sweat wondering how the hell you going to get down the super steep slope without fracturing your tailbone. never never ever. hahaa. the company, the food and the scenery otherwise was breathtaking.

i don't blog much now because everytime i come home i'm already a fair bit exhausted, and after giving my mum an in-depth rundown of my day via email, im pretty much left wasted and ready to knock out. it's ironic how when im busy with tests and all i will find the time to blog and when im free as a bird on holiday now, i can't be bothered thinking about blogging.

i am on the tail end of my one week break and i am LOVING IT. =D i have been a martha stewart wannabe, baking and cooking. tomorrow i want to try tiramisu, and tonight hans and i cooked honey&terriyaki chicken skewers, potato salad(mayo made from scratch!hehe) and sweetchilli pasta for his flat. it took 2 hours cos it was so laborious preparing the chicken and all. but i'm glad it turned out really yummy, no leftovers and i had fun doing it!

ok i'm going to have a look at more recipe books for ideas now. ciao for now darlings (:

augusto teno

2005-08-10T22:03:00.000+12:00

new layout------------------------------------->
comments please darlings, i want to know how i can improve it.
anyway, i was uploading a whole lot of photos for a post when i thought, why don't i just change the silly whole layout? so i have. less photos but i managed to find two nice group photos that sort of have everyone i love in it.

one of the photos was taken at my farewell and the lyrics here came from the cd they gave me.

i'm eating ice cream now, my period is here. hohoho.

<3

to fifi my darling <3

2005-08-09T22:57:00.000+12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIONA SMITH :)
(this is going to be cheesy but i rlly mean it!) dear fifi, ever since you stepped into my life in the beginning of sec2, i knew u were one of those special friends i can always count on. you are top quality friend and u know, i am super lucky to know you. even when i got mad and frustrated during tennis, i remember you always encouraging me even when you were having a hard time too. when i got scolded in class by mrs lim, i remember you standing up for me, i remember your red and white water cooler during trainings, and your blue towel, and i also remember the awful runs after trgs that made us cry once. hahahahahaa. so many memories though its only been a few years. i'm sorry for all the horrid things i ever did, and i rlly look forward to years of friendship with yoooooooooooooooooo (: mwah mwah mwah mwah! xxoxoxoxoxoxoxx

oh tiff you are too kind

2005-08-08T22:40:00.000+12:00

hahahaha, tipsy (that is your new name) cos i call u tip. and like how i call lyd - lydsies, you are now tipsy. hehehee. tipsy, i think u are too kind, i realised if u click on the picture, u see me blown up, my face all gross and with damning evidence of too much good food! my double chin was showing! but dear tipsy, u are too kind to me (: thanks though! i think too much research into stem cells has gotten into me, i have become all strange now. i have just spent 2hours (plus some chatting online plus phone convo with mum) reading up on stem cells. i chanced upon this incredibly comprehensive site(not that all this is terribly interesting) and soon honeys, i will be a world class expert in this field. all this for a 15minute seminar =(

i think i am inspired to try and study harder not only because (according to their blogs)crystal and claire have now become world-class hardworking high-score-deserving nerds!!!! but also because teachers have been hinting to us that we shouldnt be slacking cos term has only started cos this term will go by super fast. AIIIIKK. mum told me to go get energy pills that carol has been taking so that i am less tired all the time. carol and chess don't want me to take it lest i get a bit too energetic, but at a time as dire as this, i need a bottle full to turn me into a sprite again. HAHAHAHAAA. i dont even get what i just said.

TOMONORI NAKAGAWA!

2005-08-06T22:13:00.000+12:00

jo and tom at international dance party
August 06, 2005
happy birthday ojisan ichiban!! it has been great knowing you as a friend, and i look forward to more years of friendship with you (: god bless u and don't get too drunk too often (: love from obasan niban!

[update]
driving with brent round dunedin's windy roads and very steep hills were punctuated frequently by awful car stalling, bunnyhopping and tire-squealing. oh dear. i can't seem to balance the clutch and accelerator right, i even screeched and stalled going up my own home driveway. how now brown cow! hahahaa

just came back from exhostmum's yummy dinner at her place and watching monster-in-law (which was alright). really really realised how incredibly blessed and fortunate i am when i met a girl over for the weekend who comes from a broken family, has no family to back her up, and who basically lives on student loan after student loan, and sometimes skips dinner when she can't get leftover stale bread from the bakery, or when her friends don't offer her extra food. shit man, so sad. but she's a good christian, and its amazing how she has these people offering her meals in their homes and it rlly shows how god provides, no matter what.

am waiting for brent so he can take me driving. ok here's here now. just wanted to say happy birday OJISAN!!! =D

2005-08-03T18:24:00.000+12:00

amazingly, the internet has been rlly good to me lately and i hope this lasts.

i have not yet come out of my dangerous binge-eating-on-horrid-foods cycle. if its any consolation, im stuffing my face with a banana now. hahhaaha. today was by far the longest day in the world. we have a new math teacher who is no doubt experienced, but somehow conducts the slowest lectures in the world. 50 mins can feel like 2h and i feel myself slinking lower and lower into the seat each minute. otago uni is clever though, they design seats impossible to sleep in.

international dance party this friday :):):):) and then sgpclub lunch on sat then yummy dinner at exhostmum's place after. it's gg to be a crazy two days but hopefully i can take sunday to timeout and also catch up on work. then next weekend is schooltrip to queenstownnnn (: (: i am super excited. we leave straight after school on friday then have a jampacked weekend of snowboarding, farm visits and a boatcruise. yay yay yay can't wait! then after that a whole week of school! now i cant stop smiling like an idiot to myself!

ok im off. banana=fibre=............................... hehehehee

the procrastinator at her best

2005-08-01T16:42:00.000+12:00

in the school lab now waiting for carol and jen to finish so all for of us can go to kwangchou for a nice meal! in the heat of my pre-period cravings, i am absolutely dying for my deep fried spicy chicken bits. salty and sort of sweetish (MSG! hehe) all rolled into one, i am left helpless at the clutches of these bite-sized thigh expanders. hehehee. 15 mins till we can go =D

just spent time online searching for articles on pressure groups and stem cell treatments for my long essay and seminar! acckkk! all these nice articles with beautiful flowing words that i cannot describe better, it is SO tempting to copy but i can't or my ass will get whipped for plagiarism. who invented plagiarism, HUH?! heheheh

my period is coming but i hope it will come perhaps after the international dance party but before the ski trip? am i asking a bit too much? hehehe. i haven't even decided whether or not i want to go. on one hand it might completely unappeal to me and i might get my period but on the other hand it might be fun!! hiyarrr. hahaha.

our (chess and i) ex hostmum just invited us for dinner on sat night! =D i can't wait cos she cooks the nicest food, and she has the most recent dvds pirated fresh from m'sia. heheheh

hans just got his new timetable for his new course !%&*))(% no chem, no physics and he starts at 11 most days, except fri when he starts at 2! wo de ma yah! what justice in this world! hahahaha

the weather is warming up and i think i am more of a winter person. i'm sad that its not as ridiculously cold anymore! hahaha, my (fantastic) stint in singapore in the middle of winter meant less time in arctic gear. but i do really like bundling up all nice cuddly and fat. i don't know why. it's like its ok to look fat (and be fat) in winter cos of the layers. but in summer.......everyone will be in single or double layers and fresh from the lovely winter my fatty and flabby bits of nice and plump and white.

enough orrediiiii, time for kwangchou (:

cravings craving

2005-07-30T19:14:00.000+12:00

the bouquet chess and i got for carol's bday

u have no idea. i think im in trouble when i get pregnant. right now i am having THE worst cravings and my eating habits have gone from bad to worst the past 3 days. i am the new junk girl and this is awful. what will it be like when i get pregnant after i marry? =/

yes i am slow, but i have started reading the new harry potter book and its GOOOOOD! =D hehehe. okok thats all i have to say. and if u tag my blog, please don't leave spoilers! =D

we went to the anatomy museum at the med school for bio lab yesterday and it was quite an eyeopener. i think the most interesting specimens were the real ones that have been plasticized. i really admire the people who give their bodies up to medicine because the specimens we saw were really...visual? we saw the entire gastrointestinal tract of a man from the oesophagus right down to the anus (plus genitals), the plasticized mid-section (shoulders to below genitals) of a lady. everything was hardened with silicone and all and you could lift her skin like a cover and see her insides all compact like anything! it's pretty incredible! then there were real human brains (which are really heavy actually) dissected at different angles to see how the brain looks in different places. very very cool! there was also the head of a man sliced about 1cm thick sliced horizontally and put in glass and u could see his hair, and everything else in his head. very very very cool. then in a room there were specimens of aborted foetuses and stillborn babies. very very sad but so incredible to see a perfectly formed human being with 10 fingers and 10 toes the size of your fourth finger. and siamese twins that didnt survive till full term, and babies born without brains and very malformed. i even saw a baby with a cleft lip and it had blonde hair!!! very sad but such an eyeopener!

ook thats it.

pigirl

2005-07-28T17:48:00.000+12:00

i am disgusting!!! today, i had one cup of milo/kokocrunch cereal for breakfast, a mandarin and some water, an hour after that, i ate my lunch sandwich!!! i wasn't really hungry, just being greedy! at the same time chess and i shared a bottle of coke. heheh. then for lunch, i had an ice chocolate, then after class i ate a banana, a muesli bar and nearly bought a packet of crisps but didn't cos neither chess nor i had coins. came home, had 5 chicken nibbles fresh from the oven and another glass of coke #$%^&* now im kneeling on the floor blogging with my tubby stomach sticking out about to have dinner in 10 mins. heeeheheee.

on another note, i went to unipol to exercise yesterday! 1 hour of table tennis with tomono, 15 mins of basketball and 45 mins of badminton!! going again tonight cos it is fun!

carol's birthday went very well. im so pleased we managed to get her the pamper voucher! photos up when she actually sends them to me.

chess' harry potter book is lying temptingly on my bed and i wish i had a day off in bed to devour it! but i havent read the previous book recently so some parts might be wasted on me! i've read the first 10 lines just to whet my appetite (didnt rlly work, abit boring at first) i have chem, math and even english seminar and long essay to prepare for. =/

i think my seminar presentation is going to be on stem cell treatment or something. i had quite a nice lunch break today with chess sitting at green acorn by the window drinking ice coffee and reading time magazine. geeky i know but i really like doing things like that, especially how these past few months have been a buzz of activity with little time to sit down and veg out with nothing on my mind.

anybody everybody, give me suggestions on how to cheer chessy up. i hope she doesnt read this. i just want her to be happy.

i am such an awful girl

HAPPIEEEE BIRTHDAY!

2005-07-26T00:49:00.000+12:00

before i forget, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROLINE LEE YINLING!!! you are a fantabulous sister who has been nothing but a good thing to me. love u lots and have a very very blessed 20th!

my apologies, i have been a horrid girl who hasn't updated in like forever. many things have happened since i last posted, some very unfortunate, but at the same time, some very special things that happened as a result. i just thank god because things could have ended up a lot worse, and in the end, my sanity is still intact and my relationships with certain people stronger.

founders day today and it's pretty sad cos it would have been really cool to go back and see everyone again. MGS was an incredible 10 years and it has been such a blessing to have met all the wonderful people i call my friends. life definitely isn't the same anymore, but yes, once an mgs girl, always an mgs girl!

i be off now. this is such a hopeless post (minus the carol part) ciao babieeees.

2005-07-18T20:31:00.000+12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! you're 17 now! thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me. you have been SUCH a blessing in my life. though we havent been friends like forever it seems that way! a REALLY good forever! i just wanted to say god bless you and your family. thank you for always being there for me, during my happiest, and my saddest moments. you're such a godsent bestie and i love you!! XOXOXOX

2005-07-17T17:30:00.000+12:00

school starts tmr. byebye to the really great holidays. it feels like it was a really long time, and the exams feel like it was months ago, but it was only 3 weeks =/ now we're going to have to work towards UMAT at the end of the month :( no more playing, time to get serious. sighhhh

chessy just got back today, i hope she doesn't have too much trouble with jetlag. my number 1 hostsister, i want you to cheer up soon! and when you're in a better mood we can do videos with the wigs :P

i don't have much to say just that i felt i should blog since i haven't blogged much lately. i want to put photos up but they're so huge and i dont know how to make it smaller. but its ok, another time.

it feels like a really long time ago that i was into the routine of going to school and studying and so on. it feels really alien and the thing is school isn't going to pressurise me into studying more or anything. if u want to fail, u can fail :( i have to get my arse to work. shitz man.

on a brighter note, i had chicken porridge today (:

all good(:

2005-07-08T21:15:00.000+12:00

my two weeks here have been really really great. as in, everything far exceeded my expectations and i'm rlly pleased i came back after all. these two weeks have been a (wonderful)whirlwind of family, lots of sales and shopping, good friends and haircuts. hahaha.

i had my third haircut in two weeks today. but it wasnt rlly a haircut, it was a trim to chop off the two long-ish bits at the side of my head that were bothering me. now my hair is a neat-ish crop with pretty colours and i'm much happier (: i saw a hairmodel today who just put in about $1000+ worth of hair extensions for the toni&guy press conference on tues and shoots it was pretty cool. her actual hair is really short, and the extensions which are super straight reach up to like her ass. but actually, i would be quite scared if i were her cos if she ruins her extensions by accident, she is in like super trouble. i don't even think she can swim now. =/

on a more serious note, i got my semester results back today and it was not cool at all. i studied really hard for it yet my marks were only mediocre. esp physics which was a definite supreme letdown. i scored better for bio than physics despite doing physics for the Os and not bio. i have to become a nerd now. no excuses, i can't afford getting only mediocre marks for my finals. now i want to score damn well for my UMAT, but like im doing the prep work and it is how bloody difficult. its crazy you know. english is my first language and im struggling, how about those whose english is their second lang? crazy twits. rrraaaaahhh!

shanghai tmr and i'm pretty excited to become a tourist all over again! two weeks have really zipped before my eyes and before i know it, i'll be on the plane on thursday night looking at the lights of the airport and roads beneath me as the plane takes off towards christchurch. im so blessed to get the opportunity to be back to see everyone especially my (maternal)grandparents.

i be off now (: <3

_______ =/

2005-07-06T18:30:00.000+12:00

my hair got cut again. ooooopsies.

johnny (the guy who coloured my hair) asked me if i minded having my hair cut shorter. i was like, should be ok la. i dont mind. the johnny said good, cos he's damn good. the guy who cut my hair the second time is supposed to be the best toni and guy stylist in sg. but omgoodness, i nearly died when i saw my cut. it is wild, a bit extreme, very dramatic and very........alternative. omgoodness, what in the world was i thinking. at least i like the colour, but still!!! hhhahaa, i am looking for ways to improve the look overall and make it at least slightly presentable. shoots la, i still want to go into town before i leave. shit. hahaaaa.

am going to shanghai with my mumsie and aunt on sat afternoon for a few nights, and coming back on wednesday night. then on thurs night i fly back to nz. and on fri morning fly my internal flight. then im back (: to work.

there is a heatwave in shanghai now. hopefully the hotel will have a nice pool so that i can tan. i hope.

i am looking at photos of my haircut and oh dearie me i don't think i can go out with it. kill me already. i still want to have a browse at borders, have a look at bags at topshop, and morre morrre morrre. but how? :( haahahaha. shit la, i always get myself in funny situations.

the only consolation i have for myself is the ugly un-hideable part of my hair is at the back. the front is fine. so i can walk around, but i cannot see people's reactions on their faces from behind. unlike some, i dont claim to have eyes on the back of my head. im grateful to be blind from behind.

:(

ho hoho

2005-07-02T03:06:00.000+12:00

it has been a FANTASTIC seven days back in singapore.

i have been living it up like a tai-tai with my sister and my grandaunt grace. we've been bringing her shopping everywhere, eaten super good food, and met up with family.

i am a walking mess with my head a half-done dye job. i can't wait till tuesday when i get the rest of my highlights. right now my hair is a pretty bright colour, and i need to bronze till i reach a suitably nice brown then my heart can rest. hahahaa. the girl at toni and guy said i look jap. HOW??! i am like tofu now.

ok, today am going to the club with laura to meet chessy, crystal and maybe charm to tan and maybe go bowling. i got a new bikini from zara and i am pleased now (:

i am really enjoying myself here. my mum coming back is like the cherry on top of all this goodness and i am having so much fun. i just want to take in all this as much as i can over the next 11 days i have here.

ive met some friends, but definitely not all i want to meet yet. so much to do and so little time. had such a wonderful time with eddie and jas last night. we just ate good food and talked and talked and its such a nice feeling to know that they are still the same jas and eddie. they say ive grown more mature from the giggly nonsensical girl that sat behind with liz in class and i think thats a good thing, although i cannot forget how to have fun still.

im sorry this post took so long to come out, just that ever since ive come back, everyday has been so eventful and tiring that even when i make a mental note to blog about it, im too tired to get it done.

oh, i also had this massive showdown with my grandmother (dad's mother) the other night. she screamed at me and told me she never ever wanted to see me again. which suits me alright, dad comforted me and said i didn't do anything wrong so my heart is at rest. if anything, i know i dont want to be like her - bitter and set in her ways, unwilling to forgive and always holding onto grudges against people. thank god i still have my family and also my mama and kongkong who i love more than anything.

you are what you eat

2005-06-27T13:36:00.000+12:00

i am...
egg rolls,
kueh lapis,
otah,
and everything else horrible.

i love the fruits here! in nz it is apples, pears, and mandarins. here, it is pineapples, lychees, and all sorts of yummy fruits. =D

it is like the age of machines here in my neighbourhood. im sitting in my parents room with the aircon on, but all i hear is drilling, banging, hammering and some annoying whirring noise that won't stop. i just looked - it is a man with a blower to blow leaves off the footpath i think.

i have about 500 sheets of UMATprep to go through this holiday. it is incredible. i come home and this mother of all stacks is staring at me. hehe, chessy got a stack too. but if my dad got it, then it must be rlly good.

i am trying to get mother to come home earlier. a week with her before i go back to nz just won't be enough. it's been 2 days or so but i already miss yakking with her and everything else. cooomeeee hoooommmmmeeeeee =D

everyone in jc is having exams this entire week so as it is, i still haven't seen anyone! but it's pretty cool, i still have a week and a bit to catch up with them after. plus, i have a whole lot of work i got to get done, and also grandparents i got to spend time with. all things considered, i am preetty happy with everything. even the weather, albeit only when i am in an airconditioned room. the humidity here is suffocating, but the thing is, you dont need to moisturise! i came home and overnight, dry skin became normal skin without effort :)

tomono! if you're reading this- im sorry i didnt get to say goodbye to you! i'm so happy you get to go back to jp! have a SUPER trip and see yoou soon!!!! xoxo

i love all my friends (: im so glad to be home to matter-of-fact down-to-earth lydsies, fact-distorter lizzy, my darling raro, the lovely xiao, and everyone else good! the only thing missing is FI!!! but thank you soo much for calling me darling!! i love you!!

im off to sink my head into inches of paper. i guess god made trees so they could be cut and made into paper as notes for jo.

2005-06-26T13:06:00.000+12:00

back from my pathetic hiatus. i am back in singapore and it's better than i expected i think. i opened the fridge last night and nearly died. there were lychees, glutinous rice and EVERYTHING else super yummy! and just now i didn't know what to eat for breakfast cos there was just too much to choose from! so i settled for lychees that squirted juice everywhere. funnily enough, the night before i left to come back, hans was letting me try some lychee jelly juice drink and i didn't really like it.

my grandad was so happy to see me home. his face lighted up when i ran into his room, and i don't think he's ever hugged me this tight. he asked how long i was staying for, and his face fell when i told him cos i think he expected me to stay for much longer. well, all the more i should stay home and just spend time with him and my grandma.

the heat and humidity when i arrived were not as bad as i thought it would be, but then again, it was night time. i am not rlly excited to see how hot it can get midday. but i am looking forward to not having to moisturise as much =D

last night i came online just cos i was bored and i got a nice surprise (: hans was sleeping but when i arrived i sent him a text and he got up and came online and waited and waited cos he figured i would probably come online. thank goodness i did.

shit im going to sweat super a lot today. i feel my pores tingling. this is gross.
im off. ciao babies!

2005-06-24T14:20:00.000+12:00

isn't it annoying when people change their blog addresses? just because it means changing the links, bookmarks and everything else?

well. heheheh....

ive moved :P i think. im not sure, you know. i don't know whether to completely move, or to just stay here but change the layout. im just abeet tired of how it looks.

2005-06-20T16:16:00.000+12:00

mum you ABSOLUTELY have to wake me up at 9 tmr so that i can start work!!

on top of asking my mother to wake me up promptly at 9, i also set my alarm to ring at 8.45 (so that I can press snooze once). But when my alarm rang at 8.45, i rolled over and snoozed it, and in the thick of my sleep, I saw my big plans to get work done early in the morning fizzle. hahhahahaa. learning well from laura, when my mum came in to wake me up, I sat up in bed, pretended to be on my way out of bed, and the minute she turned her back and closed the door, i promptly fell backwards into bed.

5 snoozes and an entire hour later, i let out a grunt and sat up feeling grouchy as anything. hahaha. actually i didnt let out a grunt. but i think it was an awful moan. the sort of moaning you hear only when someone is killing someone else.

today is my math exam at 630pm. quite unlike singapore, we only have one paper to sit for and it's only for 1.5h!! =D

this morning I had to help my mum see what was wrong with her computer, had to photograph chessy eating breakfast, and of course, had to take a tiny (that became not so tiny once i woke up) nap at 130pm so that I could wake up refreshed for my paper. ho ho ho, now I'm blogging. At least ive finished off the entire booklet of sample papers, but I still can't help feeling a tad unprepared, but i absolutely cannot do or even think of any math problems lest I tire my fragile brain and undo all the preparation Ive made for it. hahahahahaaa. =/

after today there's chem and im donnnneee!!! its play play play till sat when co and i flyyy home (:

my friends in singapore mean so much to me, and when we were all schooling together, they were everything to me. they are my pillars of support, valuable company on nights when i was bored and all i wanted to do was to yak on the phone, a source of entertainment when classes got boring, and just being there. even now when i'm in trouble, though raro is super far, the distance just disappears when i pick the phone up to call her. <3

but it never ceases to amaze me how in 5 short months, so much has changed. our lives are no longer as intricately linked as it was before. being in two different countries, we all have completely seperate lives and now i have my own friends, and so do they. but its okay, because we still make the effort to keep in touch, and i can't wait to go back to singapore for the most MASSIVE phone session EVER! hehehhh

i be off now. i must shower and dress for exams. hahaa. yes, its 4.40pm and im still in my jammies (:

oh, and you guys, ask chessy about the new night outfit she got!! ehehehehhhhh :P

2005-06-19T20:41:00.000+12:00

Arachibutyrophobia- the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth

When I'm in NZ, I
1) make my bed on my own everyday
2) make my own breakfast
3) keep my room tidy
4) empty out the trash in my room and in the loo weekly(chessy and i alternate)
5) take out the week's trash with chess yes, the rubbish man only comes once a week =/
6) make my own breakfast and wash up all my dishes
7) wash the dishes everynight while chess dries it
8) wash my bedsheets, dry them and put them back on regularly
9) help vacuum ( i can never figure out how to spell this correctly) the house with chess
every week

i miss yati. i think chessy might miss rosa too.

10) never perspire.

hahahaa. i can't wait to go back to singapore.

"I have bought the glutinous rice, and will be preparing the tapeh and the black glutinous rice(sausages etc) for U. Hope U like them.
U could send me a list of what U like most to eat!
See U soon. Bi for now.
kong2" -email from my grandad (: i love him and miss him so so much

food is good.

i am a tub of lard. hehehh.